A BILLION HERE, A BILLION THERE

Isn't it great to have conservative Republicans guarding the federal chicken
coop against all those Democrat foxes who raided it for 40 years?

Actually, it doesn't seem to matter who is running Congress. The pork just
keeps on flowing.

Take U.S. Rep. J. Dennis Hastert, R-Ill. He got $250,000 for
"pharmacokinetic research" last week while the 105th Congress was hurriedly
patching together its final fiscal 1999 budget.

Say what? In plain English, the Washington Post reports, the money will go
to the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research to study Stay Alert, a
caffeinated chewing gum that is supposed to re-energize sleep-deprived
soldiers.

Guess where it's produced? Try Yorkville, Ill., coincidentally Hastert's
hometown.

Cynical congressional aides call such add-ons "virgin births." One told the
Post's Charles R. Babcock that at least 30 such miracles were added in
11th-hour federal budget horse-trading.

Recently, the Joint Chiefs of Staff bluntly told Congress they need more
money for military readiness, and that Congress could afford it if they
didn't waste so much on things the Joint Chiefs don't request and don't
need.

A Hastert predecessor from the Illinois delegation, the late Sen. Everett
Dirksen, was also known to bring home some pork, but he told it like it is:
"A billion here, a billion there . . . pretty soon you're talking about real
money."

And the beat goes on.

Checked-by: Don Beck