BLAME PARENTS WHEN `DARLINGS' RUN AMOK

`Never underestimate the power of a kid."

That chilling statement, putting us in mind of those precocious munchkins in
William Golding's "Lord of the Flies," came recently from the mouth of a
South Carolina high school student whose protests--together with the legal
arm-twisting of the American Civil Liberties Union--reversed a school
dress-code policy.

At the same time, two Florida high school football players and their parents
are challenging a school disciplinary policy that punishes students for
breaking laws during their free time. The parents and their two adorable
sons, suspended from the team for 30 days for drinking, complain that the
policy is unconstitutional and violates their right to privacy.

To which I'm compelled to say: I'd no more underestimate the power of kids
than I'd dare overestimate the intelligence of American parents. Anyone
still wondering why teachers can't teach and why students are running amok
should surrender their parenting licenses immediately.

While both the Florida and South Carolina cases may be arguable on legal
grounds, they're symptomatic of the disease plaguing American education
these days. Teachers can't teach because children are out of control and
children are out of control because parents are dazzlingly inept.

The South Carolina case involves hemp necklaces, which administrators viewed
as symbolic of the drug culture and, thus, counter to the dress code. Hemp
is a variety of cannabis, but is grown differently than marijuana and has
virtually none of the THC that used to make today's parents dumb and dumber.
So argued two students, who weave the necklaces and wear them as jewelry.

Naturally, the students' parents came to their defense, claiming their
creative spirits were being thwarted. The students won, even though school
administrators are justified in trying to enforce a dress code, which by
definition is supposed to eliminate distracting emblems and minimize
individual expression during "work" hours.

"I just feel so overwhelmed with joy that I can fully express myself now,"
gushed one of the 15-year-old students.

Two Sanford, Fla., football players are doubtless overwhelmed with joy, too,
as their parents and lawyers argue their right to get drunk on their own
time. Never mind that the school has a strongly worded policy forbidding
drinking by students involved in extracurricular activities. Also forbidden
under the 1993 policy are smoking, gambling, drug use and fake IDs. Such
oppression!

Owing to the parents' uproar, the boys' suspension has been tabled pending
legal clarification of the disciplinary policy. And the boys haven't missed
a game. Predictions are that a court will have to determine whether the
school's policy is constitutional or whether it violates the kids' "rights."

As a parent, I'd worship a school policy that reinforced my own at home. If
my kid got drunk at the beach, as these two did, and the school suspended
him from the team, I'd join the cheerleading squad.

Instead, parents side with their children, demoralizing teachers and
administrators who are surrounded by arrogant, rude animals half the time
and further diminishing morale among rule-abiding kids. So say dozens of
teachers whose letters fill a thick file in my cabinet.

Typical is this letter from a veteran middle-school principal in Oregon who
is quitting: "When I call parents to inform them their child has just called
his/her teacher a "f---ing ---hole," I get one of the following responses:
`My child doesn't say things like that. The teacher is lying.' Or, `What did
the teacher do to provoke him/her?' "

It's always someone else's fault--the teacher's, the school's, the rules'.
Not the little darlings', who, because they're being taught that they're
above the rules and beyond responsibility, may be a frightening lot when
they really are in charge of the asylum. Never underestimate the tyranny of
an adult who never learned to play by the rules.

Checked-by: Rolf Ernst