NO SMOKE WITHOUT FIRE

Telling your children about drugs is tough enough. But what if you are
among the 10 per cent using them yourself?

News this week from the Forensic Science Service that 10 per cent of the
British workforce tested positive for illegal drugs suggests that
recreational drug use in this country is now as popular as church
attendance.

But does it harm children if their parents use drugs? The courts tend to
think so. It emerged last week that Paula Yates has lost custody of her
children to Bob Geldof. The grounds for the judge's decision have not been
revealed, but Yates now faces a second custody battle over Heavenly Hiraani
Tiger Lily, her two-year-old daughter by Michael Hutchence. Hutchence's
father launched proceedings for sole custody after Yates began a
relationship with an ex-heroin addict she met while being treated at a
rehabilitation centre.

Schools don't look kindly on it either - but then who could blame the
deputy head who last week alerted the police when a seven-year-old Glasgow
boy handed over a packet of heroin because he was worried about his mum's
habit.

But what about the less extreme cases? According to Jane Powell, who trains
social work and other professionals in how to assess the risk to children
in drug-using families, the key questions are: what do the parents use, how
often and in what circumstances? "Rather than take a moral position, it is
important to establish in what ways a parent's drug use is affecting the
care of the children. For example, if someone has to raise UKP380 a day to
score a gramme of heroin, they won't have a lot of time left to care for
their child.

"On the other hand, some parents cope very well and may feel they can
manage better with a stable and measured pattern of drug use than if they
tried to go completely drug-free. We're talking mainly about people with
major opiate habits of course, but I'd say it's always worth trying to look
at any situation from the child's perspective."

Parents using drugs recreationally may not face the same financial or
health problems as heroin addicts, but they still face dilemmas. Lucy, who
is 40, has a 12-year-old son and a baby daughter. She has been using
cannabis, cocaine and Ecstasy for several years.

"I know an enormous number of parents who use drugs," she says, "and I
think we tend to police each other to make sure we don't go over the top. A
couple of years ago my partner and I were taking quite a bit of cocaine
when a friend of mine happened to telephone on a Saturday morning several
weeks running. When I told her for the third or fourth time that I was
recovering from the previous night, she said, 'Not again, Lucy.' That
stopped me instantly. Since the baby was born we have had coke a couple of
times but it didn't feel right. I wasn't in total control. It is also
getting much more difficult to take drugs at home now because my son is
very knowledgeable and aware. My partner smokes a spliff in front of him,
but I think he would be quite concerned if he knew we were taking anything
else.

"When he was younger it was much easier. I don't feel guilty. I think it is
better to take drugs than drink with children around. You are able to come
round quicker, when you need to. Yet people think nothing of going to
parties with their children and getting pissed."

The issue of how much to tell their children about their own drug use is a
big one for parents, both because of fears about children's lack of
discretion, but also because they are uncomfortable about possibly
encouraging their own children to break the law. One father was having
trouble deciding whether to invite his 17 -year-old daughter on holiday
with a group of his friends because her presence would inhibit their drug
use. Others feel openness is the safest policy.

Tom is 50 and has smoked cannabis more or less daily since he was 18. He
and his wife have four children, now aged between 14 and 22. "We concealed
it from them for years because I couldn't rely on their confidentiality. As
soon as we felt they were old enough to understand - at about 10 I think -
we told each of them. We've always taken the attitude that if we were as
open and honest as possible, they would be likely to reciprocate by being
open with us.

"They were going to try things anyway. I'd rather they did it with us,
which they have done. We told them heroin, morphine and crack are deadly
things they play with at their peril. It's never been a problem. They are
too interested in life."

Some names have been changed.