FIGHTING ADDICTION

Santa Marian -- Margie Savage started a group for those who want to recover
but haven't found their niche

For Margie Savage, it started with painkillers. Pills to end the pain of
childhood abuse, an alcoholic father, and adolescence.

As the Santa Maria resident grew older, she would need more ways to kill
pain. Alcohol, then speed, then cocaine and methamphetamines.

Savage thought the drugs were helping her, first as a wife, then as an
executive and mother. But she was wrong. And it wasn't until she started
losing everything - her job, her family - that she realized how far she had
sunk into the mud of addiction.

"When someone finally turned me on to speed, I thought it was the dream
drug," remembers Savage, who describes herself as a natural introvert.
"Because I could walk into my bosses' office, and I could talk to people
and I wasn't afraid."

Afterward, Savage moved on to crank, she says it was "less than a year
before the drug almost killed me." She describes losing 30 pounds, losing
her home, losing control, and eventually losing her job.

"I quit using crank after I had a mild heart attack, and I saw what it was
doing to me - I had lost everything nice."

Now 10 years in recovery from the drug abuse that marked those years,
Savage says she was able to overcome some of her addictions on her own.
Other problems, like alcoholism, took longer to get over.

"I really didn't see the drinking as a problem," explains Savage. Like many
addicts, she thought her drinking habit was at least socially acceptable -
and she told herself she was doing fine.

"On the surface, I seemed like the perfect mother," Savage remembers. "I
would go to all the baseball games and sit in the stands and cheer ... of
course I was usually drunk."

It would eventually take a tragedy for Savage to wake up to the toll her
loss of control was taking on her family.

"What finally did it was losing my son to drugs (use) at 16. At first, I
thought it was just pot. And then I realized he was using meth too. That
really woke me up."

For the mother, who knew firsthand how much damage meth and speed could do
to a life, it was the beginning of a battle to save her son. It was also a
struggle that sent he to Hancock's Recovery Support Services to "get
educated" - and eventually to get help. She says she needed to regain
control before she could save her son, if ever.

"He started living on the streets, he started losing weight. It was
heartbreaking to me, and I think I just quit drinking on my own after that."

"Today he's in Santa Barbara County Jail and battling his addiction," says
Savage, who feels she might be losing her younger son to the same problem.
"I couldn't save him."

What Savage could do, she knew, was keep trying - not just to help her son,
but to help other young people who started using at a young age.

"Definitely I identify with them," says Savage, who now works part-time for
the Santa Barbara County Education Department counseling at-risk teens.

"I think it helps to have someone that they can relate to, someone that
understands why they might have started using in the first place. And then
with my own son, I saw him go through the system without any kind of real
assistance - definitely not anything that's geared for young people."

According to Savage, he son was mandated to go to Alcoholics Anonymous
meetings, where he joined full-fledged adult addicts, many of whom had no
intention of ever recovering. "It's much different with young people," she
explains. "Many of them aren't the hard-core users, and typically they're
not physically addicted."

Because Savage saw a need for other options, she has also started a chapter
of an alternative support group, SMART Recovery of Santa Maria.

"It's small now," she admits. "But the hope is that it will grow, and that
we can reach some of the people that aren't being reached by AA - whether
because they're not good in groups, like me, or because they don't like the
spiritual part of AA."

And for herself, Savage is still seeking help for the underlying issues
that caused her to become addicted in the first place.

"It's hard for me to ask for help ... but in order for me to help others, I
need help myself."

"I see a lot of myself in them (the kids she works with.) And I think it's
true, it is a cycle. And the more people who manage to break that cycle and
get on with their lives, the better."

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How to get SMART SMART (Self Management and Recovery Training) meets
Thursdays from 6:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. in the Community Room at the Santa Maria
Town Center.

The group, organized by Margie Savage, is an "alternative to A.A." that
emphasizes personal choice and responsibility and promotes freedom from
dependence on alcohol and other drugs through self-help in a small group
setting.

For more information, call 928-2980.
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(9"h x 6"w pic with close-up on tipped bottle of prescription pills next to
mirrow with razor blade and lines of white powder, woman in background with
head down.)