TEEN PARTIES TODAY: "CIGARETTES, BEER, WEED'

Teenagers can be a wild and woolly bunch.

However, the recent news that a male stripper entertained a Halloween party
of Pleasanton high school girls - perhaps at the behest of the 15-year-old
host's mother - has created a worldwide media frenzy.

As news spread of the stripper party and the less-than-demure behavior of
the girls - the stripper is accused of fondling some and even liberating
his G-string so that one could allegedly orally copulate him for $20 - word
also reached grown-ups that there were at least three other stripper
parties hosted by Pleasanton teens in the past year.

So, what gives with Pleasanton teens and strippers? Are the adolescents all
turning into drunken sailors, conventioneers and bachelor-party wannabes?
And what goes on at a teen party these days anyway?

Teenagers surveyed at Stone ridge Mall in Pleasanton said strippers are
hardly the usual form of party entertainment.

And outside Berkeley High on Friday afternoon, just the mention of
strippers provoked groans and eye-rolls. Strippers? How tacky.

Whether in the seemingly sheltered suburb of Pleasanton or the hip town of
Berkeley, teenage parties of today seem to be just like they were when
kids' parents were growing up.

Loud music.

Beer.

Some hard liquor.

Some sex.

Cigarette smoking.

And pot.

"Basically, there's cigarettes, beer, weed," said Stefanie Alias, 16, a
junior at California High in San Ramon.

And just as their parents probably did at their age, most teens almost
never confess to their parents what occurs at parties.

"Pleasanton parents have no idea what's going on," said an 18-year-old who
would give his name only as Chuck.

Hoping to avoid a hassle from their parents, most Pleasanton teenagers
queried and about 50 percent of their Berkeley counterparts don't even tell
their parents that they're going to a party.

They lie. They say they're going to a movie. To a friend's house. Bowling.
A sleep-over at a pal's.

And when they do confess to attending the parties, the details are often
far from the truth.

They always tell their parents that the host's parents supervised the party
- - even when, more often than not, the host's parents weren't home. And they
almost never 'fess up to anything that will alarm their parents, like
drinking.

Abercombie, 18, a high school graduate, tells his folks that "hot dogs and
potato chips" were served at the party, repeating the menu of his parties
of yesteryear, when he was a little kid.

But some do tell their parents what's going on. Talk is especially big in
Berkeley.

Megan Gordon, 17, a Berkeley senior, long ago decided to be up-front with
her parents. She said they know that drinking is an inescapable ingredient
of parties. They've talked about it, and trust her not to go overboard.

Beer is always around at parties, even with kids as young as 13 and 14.

"It's not a party without beer," said Hank, 17, a student at Village High
in Pleasanton.

Beer is usually served in kegs in Pleasanton, in cans and bottles in Berkeley.

Sometimes there is hard liquor at parties, too. Jock parties - especially
crew parties - are notorious, said Megan.

At liquor parties, it's BYOB. Vodka is the drink of choice.

A lot of the kids smoke pot at parties, too. In Pleasanton, kids will pass
around a bong. In Berkeley, kids smoke joints.

Hard drugs are pretty rare at Pleasanton parties. One 18-year-old who went
into drug recovery said he was a closet crack user because hard drugs were
looked down on at Amador High.

Also sure to bring some relief to parents: Although some of the wilder
parties have kids disappearing into bedrooms and bathrooms upstairs,
drunken sex is not as common as parents might think.

Although parents are not usually home when their kid is throwing a party,
parents who choose to stay home know enough to stay upstairs, out of sight.

These parents are known as the "cool parents." They know what the kids are
up to, but don't interfere.

Besides, several kids added, even if the parents wanted to stop some
activity, by the time they've noticed it, it's too widespread to halt -
short of ending the party and humiliating their sons or daughters. Most
house parties have 20, 30, 40 kids, even more.

"There's not a lot they can do," said Beth Fingerman, 15, a Berkeley
freshman. "There's too many kids to stop it." Besides, many parents know
their kids are going to drink or smoke pot anyway. At least in a party in
their own house, said Chris Splet, 17, a Berkeley senior, they know it
won't get too out of hand.

Checked-by: Mike Gogulski