GANJA-HO OPERATION FACES SPLIFF RESISTANCE

CHRISTMAS is coming and the plants are getting ripe, but Scrooge - in
the form of President Bill Clinton - is about to deliver a serious
case of humbug to marijuana producers in the Caribbean.

As the weeds mature in the sunshine of St Vincent, the US government
has authorised a pre-Yuletide slash-and-burn operation on the cash
crop it frowns upon.

As a president who once smoked, but never inhaled, the hallucinogenic
drug, Mr Clinton is yo-ho-olier than thou in the run-up to the festive
season. He has sanctioned the use of US marine corps helicopters to
train Caribbean troops in exercises before the elimination of the
ganja fields.

This has, to say the least, put the farmers' noses out of joint. They
predict the island's economy will fall further than the US president's
reputation if the crops are destroyed.

Consequently, one Junior "Mr Spliff" Cottle has rallied 800 hash
growers in a last-ditch effort to stave off the flame-throwers and the
machetes.

Mr Cottle, organiser of the Marijuana Farmers' Movement, wrote to
Washington on behalf of his producers, saying: "At this time of year,
if the US comes here and destroys our plantations, that will spell
hardship and the business sector will feel the pinch for Christmas. We
have 8,000 people whose livelihoods depend on marijuana. Please, do
not proceed with this action. There is no legal livelihood for us here
and to go ahead with this action could result in unemployment higher
than the current 40 per cent.

"We demand compensation from you if this goes ahead."

Mr Spliff and his brotherhood are unlikely to get a
"carry-on-fertilisin'" green light from Washington and, consequently,
will have to sit back this coming weekend to watch troops from the
Caribbean Regional Security Service drop from helicopters into dense
jungle in preparation for Operation Burnup.

Six US helicopters have been allocated for the weekend manoeuvres in
the remote northern region of the island.

An estimated 12,350 acres of land on St Vincent are planted with
cannabis. That makes the island the largest production centre in the
eastern Caribbean and the reason why its prime minister, Sir James
Mitchell, called for US assistance in making it dope-free.

The so-called "hash mashers" on St Vincent have the implicit approval
of local business people who realise that the marijuana crop is
important to their economy, especially as the US has challenged a
European Union quota system essential to the less-narcotic, but vital,
regional banana industry.

Exactly how much St Vincent's marijuana crop is worth is not known.
But Martin Barnard of the Kingstown Chamber of Commerce said: "Stores
do a brisker business when it is harvested. What can I tell you? The
farmers told me they are in trouble, the jobs are not there, they have
children to support, they have to turn to the hills to farm marijuana.

"I am sympathetic to all that, but at the end of the day we had to
say: 'Fellows, it is illegal'."

US officials say the marines will only transport troops, not destroy
plants - yet the big hand of big brother Washington is seen to be
behind the move.

Johnson Brindle, a local farmer, predicted growers would dig pits
filled with sharpened sticks and erect crude pipe bombs to save their
crops.

"It's all we got, man," he said. "Let Clinton go after the Columbians
- - he wouldn't dare 'cos they got more firepower than us. But we won't
go down without a fight."

Checked-by: derek rea