AT LEAST IN PERUVIAN HILLS, CLINTON'S FUTURE IS SAFE

Bill Clinton will survive the sex scandal hounding him and serve out
his full presidential term. Peruvian soothsayers predicted yesterday.

The shamans. descendants of the Incan empire that once ruled Peru,
said they based their predictions on visions brought on by drinking a
brew made from a jungle vine, a hallucinogen they say has curative,
religious and extrasensory powers.

“Clinton will survive, but Monica Lewinsky will suffer because she
writes a book and the truth of it will be challenged” said Juan Osco,
45, after he spat an herb mixture over photos of Clinton, Lewinsky and
other famous figures. The Ceremony involving eight revered seers atop
a hill overlooking Lima takes place each year to bless the new year
and appease the god Apu, who they say inhabits the hill.