DOES CRIME PAY AFTER ALL?

So, crime does pay after all. Here's how it works:

Step 1: Commit a crime bad enough to get yourself incarcerated in a
Canadian prison (no mean feat, considering all the conditional
sentences being handed out these days).

Step 2: Suffer some kind of indignity. Examples include getting
yourself searched for drugs, having the prison run out of the
methadone you need for the heroin habit you developed behind bars, or
simply getting yourself exposed to secondhand smoke from contraband cigarettes.

Step 3: Sue the government. Then wait to get lucky.

That's what happened to 178 convicts who went through this process in
the past three years -- and wound up splitting a whopping $1.2
million jackpot, courtesy of Canadian taxpayers.

As Sun Media's Kathleen Harris reported last week, documents obtained
through Access to Information indicate the feds made the payouts in
order to settle the suits.

To be clear, we respect the fact that, as one lawyer said, inmates
have the right to safety and security while staying at "Club Fed."
But we're not talking Abu Ghraib here.

Some cases undeniably raise serious concerns, such as that of the
heroin addict, who also contracted HIV and Hepatitis C by using dirty
needles in jail -- something he also blamed on the feds. Here's an
idea: How about we spend money better securing our prisons against
drugs, instead of handing it out in settlements to addicted inmates?

Other cases are just plain offensive. A prisoner gets $732,000 for
being assaulted by another prisoner? A convicted murderer is paid
$13,500 for being searched for drugs? And $5,000 for exposure to
secondhand smoke?! It boggles the mind.

Most offensive of all, of course, is that these criminals were
entitled to pocket compensation to make up for the wrongs they
suffered, however serious (or not) they might be.

But each and every one of them is in prison in the first place
because they wronged someone else -- victims who have little hope of
ever taking home a tidy sum for their pain.

Jeffrey Hearn is one exception. He was bashed in the head with a
hammer 30 times by a violent offender who'd been set free from the
prison system. Hearn sued the feds and actually got a settlement. But
- -- you guessed it -- he got less than several of the lucky 178. His
mistake? He missed Step 1.