US TINKY STINK MAKES BRITISH WEEK

"In London, teenagers and young adults have been known to take drugs and
hold parties watching tapes of the Teletubbies. Some critics here have
suggested the underlying theme of the children's series is not sex, but the
ingestion of prodigious amounts of hallucinogens."

LONDON - Most Britons greeted the outings of three gay Cabinet ministers in
recent months with stifled yawns. But when the Rev. Jerry Falwell, the
American televangelist, outed one of the Teletubbies this past week, the
country responded with guffaws.

Commenting on stupidity among Americans is a favorite pastime here, and
because of Falwell, the Brits had no shortage of fodder last week.

News broke here on Thursday that Falwell had warned readers of his National
Liberty Journal under a ''Parents Alert'' to guard their children against
the influence of Tinky Winky, the largest of the four Teletubbies, the
British import that has become a staple on US public television.

Falwell said that Tinky Winky was a closet gay role model, part of what he
considers an insidious campaign to brainwash the masses into accepting that
homosexuals are normal.

As evidence, Falwell cited Tinky Winky's color, purple, which he said is
the gay pride color, and the triangle antenna on Tinky Winky's head, again
a symbol of gay pride. And, Falwell pointed out, while Tinky Winky mumbles
in the voice of a male, the purple Teletubby at times carries a handbag.

In London, a spokesman for Ragdoll Productions, which created
''Teletubbies'' and distributes it in the United States, said he was
perplexed by Falwell's conspiracy theory.

First, the gay pride color in Britain is pink, not purple. And Tinky
Winky's accessory is a magic bag, not a handbag. As for the antenna, the
spokesman suggested that Falwell, or anyone else predisposed to creating
controversy, could make all sorts of insinuating accusations about the
antennae of the other Teletubbies. Dipsy's, for example, could be viewed as
phallic.

The BBC, which broadcasts ''Teletubbies'' in Britain and distributes them
internationally, issued a statement saying, ''Teletubbies is an
entertainment and innocent program for preschool children to enjoy. Any
symbolism people may find in it is of their own making.''

Still, if Falwell's accusations against Tinky Winky are just off color,
Tinky Winky is no stranger to controversy. In 1997, David Thompson, the
British actor who first wore the Tinky Winky costume, was fired because, as
Ragdoll and the BBC put it at the time, ''his interpretation of the role
was not acceptable.''

It emerged that one of Thompson's hobbies was ''naked balloon dancing,''
whatever that is.

For all the talk of sex, watching the Teletubbies is a mind-numbing
experience. It takes a vivid imagination to find anything sexual about
them. The Teletubbies, who wear no clothes but show no signs of genitalia,
are gentle creatures who speak in gibberish - like the preschoolers who
form their audience. They often engage in communal affection, known in
Teletubby parlance as ''big hugs.''

In London, teenagers and young adults have been known to take drugs and
hold parties watching tapes of the Teletubbies. Some critics here have
suggested the underlying theme of the children's series is not sex, but the
ingestion of prodigious amounts of hallucinogens.

No one here had ever complained about the supposed sexual content of the
Teletubbies, or more specifically that Tinky Winky was gay. That is, until
Falwell piped up.

The Brits, meanwhile, are beside themselves.

Wait, they say, until Falwell finds out that the actress who plays Po is
Pui Fan Lee, a Chinese left-wing radical.