ADDICTS' KIDS FIND SAFETY AT CHILDREN'S PLACE

San Mateo County Sheriff Donald Horsley keeps a copy of ``A Children's
Place . . . at the Heart of Recovery'' on his desk for everyone to
see. It's a constant reminder of the challenges faced by children who
grow up in chemically dependent families.

The book is published by the Children's Place, a program founded in
1978 in Redwood City that includes weekly educational support groups,
weekend retreats and summer camps. More than 3,000 children ages 4 to
12 and parents have participated in the program.

``The primary objective has been to create a safe place for youngsters
to learn, grow, play and heal,'' said founder Jerry Moe, one of the
book's co-authors.

According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism,
children growing up in a chemically dependent home have a
significantly higher risk of becoming addicts.

And a survey taken each year for the last 10 years by the South San
Mateo County Schools District shows these figures for 1998: By sixth
grade, 24 percent of all students had consumed beer, 13 percent liquor
and 21 percent wine. By 10th grade, 68 percent had consumed beer, 65
percent liquor and 59 percent wine. Other substances such as tobacco
and marijuana show a similar pattern.

According to Julie Scales, program director of the Children's Place,
growing up in a chemically dependent family results in three often
unspoken but fundamental rules: ``Don't talk, it's a family secret,''
``don't trust'' and ``don't feel.''

As the affected parent becomes less able to fulfill parental
responsibilities, children's needs aren't met, leading to broken
promises, uncertainty, tremendous tension, stress and often violence,
Scales said. That affects their physical, emotional and mental abilities.

The children lose faith in people because there is no one they can
depend on. They don't trust their own perceptions of reality and don't
trust themselves to make good judgments.

Such children are unable to put feelings into words. They can't
identify feelings, and instead end up acting defensive. Children's
reactions range from quietness to disruptive behavior, and often
reflect poor interpersonal and communication skills, disguising what
they really feel.

The book by Moe and Ross Ziegler shows the impact of addiction on
children. Through artwork and writing, kids give their insights on
life with an addict.

Stephanie Brown, director of the Addiction Institute in San Mateo
County, says the book offers evidence not only of the harmful effects
of parental alcoholism on children, but also of the healing power of
acknowledgment and testimony.

``This book sends a powerful message of hope that children can be
seen, heard and helped and that parents can and do recover,'' she said.

A COMMUNITY RESOURCE

Sheriff Horsley refers children of parents incarcerated in San Mateo
County Jail to the Children's Place.

``It is important that these children learn a way of coping so they
will not feel ashamed, humiliated and degraded,'' he said. ``These
children need to feel someone cares about them, and that they are
accepted and important as individuals.'' Selma Mussadi, a social
worker with Child Protective Services of San Mateo County, agrees.

``I have given many referrals to Children's Place,'' she said. ``I
think it has been very beneficial and meets a real need for children.
It is their first opportunity to talk about what is going on in their
families and express their feelings openly.''

STARTED AT SEQUOIA

The Children's Place was originally part of the Alcohol/Drug Recovery
Center at Sequoia Hospital but needed additional funding when the
hospital was reorganized.

In fall 1996, Dr. Barry Rosen, the center's medical director, convened
a group of educators, health care professionals and community
activists. He wanted to harness public and private resources to
increase awareness and treatment of alcoholics, addicts and their
affected family members.

That led to the establishment in 1997 of the nonprofit Legacy
Foundation to provide free educational programs in schools,
internships and therapy training.

In October 1998, the Legacy Foundation received funding from the
Charles and Helen Schwab Foundation to conduct Children's Place groups
in four elementary schools: John Gill, Hawes and Roy Cloud in Redwood
City and Selby Lane in Atherton. With parents' permission, the schools
refer children to the program's Healthy Living Class.

Pam Thorneberg, an outreach specialist at John Gill, said the
program's group sessions have helped children with their communication
skills, self-esteem and behavioral problems.

As a child, Michelle McKee attended the first meeting in 1978 at
Sequoia Hospital facilitated by founder Moe. Now a teacher at Carlmont
High School in Belmont, she leads the Wednesday class of 5-year-olds
at the Children's Place.

``The most important messages I give these children are: `All feelings
are OK; you did not cause your parent to become addictive; you can
take care of yourself and be safe; and it's OK to be a kid,' '' she
said.

WHERE TO CALL

The book ``The Children's Place'' is available at bookstores
nationwide and may be purchased from the Legacy Foundation. All
proceeds benefit the foundation.

For information on Children's Place programs, call Julie Scales at
(650) 261-3944. For information on the Legacy Foundation, call Dr.
Ross Ziegler at the same number or write to: 650 Main St., Redwood
City, Calif. 94063.