EL-AMIN INCIDENT HAD MOST WORRISOME IMPACT ON KIDS

It was probably a few minutes past 7 a.m. Wednesday when I detected the
unmistakable sound of excited footsteps racing up the stairs from the family
room. My 7-year-old son, who makes it a part of his daily routine to watch
the sports highlight shows early and then report the scores to me, had
spotted a news item worth sharing.

"Dad, El-Amin was arrested," he shouted, not fully understanding the details
of the story he was now exposed to.

Khalid El-Amin was arrested.

Surely, in hundreds — if not thousands — of homes across the state Wednesday
morning, the incident involving the famous UConn basketball player and the
Hartford police was the catalyst for discussions that many of us thought
were still a few years off.

Namely, explaining to our children about drugs. Trying to place the gravity
of the issue in terms that their young minds could understand. Looking for a
way to approach the subject by using words such as "mistakes" or "stupid",
while at the same time avoiding anything that would cause them to equate
sports exclusively with such
troubles.

For as disturbing as the whole story may be to adults — although very little
should shock us anymore — its impact on the youngest fans is most worrisome.
The kids who came to know the UConn players by name and who were waving at
the parade Saturday and who were learning about the good of sports and teams
and competing, were suddenly shown the dark side of sports (and life) in an
unexpected way.

And (at least for this typist) it was a challenging moment.

Yet it says here — without the benefit of deep sociological training or the
latest trends and theories on raising children heading into the 21st
century — that what El-Amin's idiotic foray (and the last three weeks in
totality) does is point out in stark terms the important (and often
positive) role sports can play in our children's lives.

Let me explain.

You will never find a stronger advocate of sports playing a large part in
children's lives than me. That includes playing the games, watching the
games and being aware of the teams and players. So far so good. When it
comes time to learn about life, however, to try and develop an understanding
of issues that are complex to young
minds (and many older ones, as well), that job belongs to the fathers and
mothers.

Not to Khalid El-Amin. Or Darryl Strawberry. Or even Wayne Gretzky.

It is the responsibility of the parents to teach their kids what is right
and wrong, what is important in life and just for fun. When you rely on
others to do your job — allowing sports figures, for example, to become role
models and guiding lights — you are stepping into a bubbling pit of
potential trouble.

Over the past few months — and March in particular — we were treated to a
wonderful story by the University of
Connecticut basketball team. The Huskies' run to the national championship
captivated the state like nothing before, and was a source of pride for old
and young alike. It was sports at its best.

Wonderful.

But that was the easy part.

For a couple of weeks after the net-cutting came the El-Amin arrest. Life
had interrupted the lovefest. Suddenly the explaining got more difficult.

In those moments, however, sports had served another positive purpose (even
if it got there through disjointed, disturbing and rather ugly means). The
incident in Hartford had forced hundreds — if not thousands — of parents
across the state to talk to their youngsters about right and wrong. About
staying out of trouble. About staying away from drugs.

Many of us probably weren't quite ready for that step, but events conspired
to force it on us, and in the long run that will be a good thing.

Through sports we can teach our children about the benefit of exercise, the
beauty of teamwork and dealing with wins and losses (sportsmanship). Through
sports we can teach our children about the importance of doing schoolwork
and maintaining varied interests. And, just as importantly, through sports
we can teach our children
about the darker side of life, including drugs. All of which are critical
lessons.

As a parent, trouble lurks when you avoid the difficult explanations. Sports
won't allow you to do that. For while it's easy to cheer when the Huskies
beat Duke, it's even more vital to speak up when Khalid El-Amin makes such a
regrettable mistake.

In sports we get the good (and often the brilliant), and we get the bad (and
often the devastating). Just as in life. It's separating the two and then
blending them back together that's so important.

When I put my son to bed Wednesday night, it was obvious that 14 hours after
hearing for the first time about the arrest it was still bothering him.
"Dad, why did El-Amin have to be so stupid to use drugs?" he asked.

Certainly many have wondered the same thing, but to me the mere fact that
his young mind was now equating the words "drugs" and "stupid" was a
positive life lesson learned.

Lee Lewis is the executive sports editor of the Republican-American. His
column appears in this space on Sundays.