YOUNG VOICES

DECISION TO USE DRUGS WAS WRONG

I was a pretty good kid before I got into the reckless lifestyle I was
living. I had a car, a good job, I had good grades in school, parents who
cared about me, good friends, a girlfriend. I had it all. But behind the
charade I was putting on for the world, I was addicted to cocaine.

I don't know how it all happened, to tell you the truth. I started using for
about two months. At first it was something I did on the weekends or at a
party once in a while. Then, after a while, it escalated to any time I
wanted to have fun. Before I knew it I was using at work, in the morning to
wake up, to function at school, to be social. I was hooked.

Shortly after I began using, I started to run out of money. I was spending
pretty much everything I had on it. The money from my job, Christmas
presents, my savings. A lot of the people I knew at school were into it as
well, so I began selling to have a constant supply. I started out small,
just to keep a little extra in my pocket, and before I knew it I was buying
ounces.

Meanwhile, I was blind to the fact that I was destroying my life. I was
going to work less and less and skipping out on wrestling practice. I was
ditching class more often and neglecting my studies and homework. The
balance I had tried to create contained all my priorities and
responsibilities on one side. On the other side was my drug use and my
partying. This side kept falling lower and became the most important thing
in my life. The things I had once loved most kept becoming a smaller part of
it. I kept on my downward spiral, letting drugs become more important, and
letting my responsibilities become less important.

My parents suspected something was wrong but never expected me to be using
hard drugs. You can imagine the surprise in my father's eyes when three
detectives came strolling up to my doorstep. My dad thought I must have been
in some horrible car accident. He found out it was something worse. I had
been arrested for sales of narcotics.

November 4th was just like any other day. I went to school, took my
girlfriend to lunch, I got out of school and one of my regulars was looking
for some dope, so I took him to my car and hooked him up. As soon as I
started counting my money a green Ford came screaming through the parking
lot. I looked behind me and saw a man I'd ever seen before, and as I went
to start my car, he jumped out and flashed a badge in my face.

It was at that moment that I thought my life would be over. I knew my
parents would be shocked, I would probably be kicked out of school, I would
probably face probation and some community service and lose my license.

It turned out to be much worse. I went to juvenile hall for five days
awaiting my court date. I found out that although it was the first charge on
my record I could still be facing up to seven years in a California Youth
Authority juvenile holding facility. I wouldn't get to graduate with my
friends. I wouldn't go to film school next year. I wouldn't be seeing my
family up north for Thanksgiving this year.

But luckily I received a different fate. My family, society, and God decided
to give me a second chance. My parents arranged for me to go to a drug rehab
program in Western Samoa, about 6,000 miles away from my home. I look at
this place where I am now as not a punishment, but a second chance. A time
where I can find out where I went wrong, start over, and make some new
choices in my life. To find out what things caused me to lead such a
destructive lifestyle. To find out why I was throwing away my parents' love
and leading myself to a slow and inevitable death.

Many of these questions I have found answers to, and many still remain
unknown. But at least I am on the road to recovery now. The reason I wrote
this article is not to try to persuade you into anything. But just to ask a
simple question: Why are you drinking and driving, why are you taking those
drugs, what satisfaction is that hit of weed or that needle in your arm
giving you that a happy, successful life could not give you as well? Just
ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing.

I thought it was all fun and games and that I was just being young. But I
was wrong. My abuse came from a place much deeper than that. I'm not saying
to not have fun, but just do not take the road that I did, be careful and
don't use drugs for an escape from your problems. If you do, you might just
end up like me, in a program somewhere instead of with your friends and
family who love you. Or worse, you may even end up dead. Make the right choice.

Dylan Conroy, 17, had been a student at Santa Barbara High School until he
was enrolled in a program in Western Samoa called Paradise Cove, run by the
Worldwide Association of Specialty Programs.

Young Voices is a column written by Santa Barbara County young people, ages
21 and under.

Columns should be typed and 500 to 700 words long. Submissions, with a
school photo, can be mailed to City Editor Jesse Chavarria at 715 Anacapa
St., Santa Barbara 93102, faxed to 966-6258, or e-mailed to
JChavarria@newspress.com.