A WOMAN'S FRIEND CAN CHANGE THE COURSE OF A DRINKING OR DRUG PROBLEM

She may tell you to go away, yet this is the time when your friend
needs you most. Knowing about the disease of addiction,and what you
can realistically do, may allow you to save a sick friend's life.

Don't try to talk to your friend when she's drunk or high. Instead,
sit down with her the day after (or when she's sober) when she can
connect remorse with the drinking or drugging incident. It's likely
this isn't an isolated incident so don't worry if you can't connect
with her immediately.

Keep the following in mind:

- - Addiction is a medically proven disease that can cause people to
hurt friends and family. No one ever decides to become an addict so
don't blame and criticize. Instead help a friend toward a solution.

- - Refer to specific incidents and try to use "I" phrases such as "I
noticed" or "I'm worried" since your friend can't argue with your feelings.

- - Talk about the effect of her drug use on whatever she cares about
most: her children, job or appearance.

- - Acknowledge that you're not a professional. Encourage her to take
an online test at www.renascent.ca/addiction/test.html or speak with
an addictions counselor at 1-866-232-1212 so she can rule out that
she has a problem.

Melinda Hynes, an addictions counselor at Renascent, cautions people
not to take things personally if she denies she has a problem or
responds with anger.

"Stay in touch but don't drink or do drugs with her. Don't lend her
money and refuse late night calls when she's drunk or high," she counseled.

"By having your actions reinforce your words, you may be successful
in planting a seed that could lead to her recovery in the future," she added.

If she's ready for help, attend an open 12-step meeting with her and
help her research treatment options-especially gender-specific
programs that acknowledge the distinct recovery needs of women. Also
know that there are Al-Anon and family programs available to support
you and your friend's family.

With A Little Help From Your Friends

Drugs can be a massive problem not only for addicts, but for their
friends and families as well. It is important these people know about
the issues and do not take the addicts' reactions personally. Make
sure you are ready when they come to you for help and remember to
take care of yourself.