CHILDREN FACE DRUG AND ALCOHOL RISKS AS THEY ENTER HIGH SCHOOL

The step our children take from elementary school to high school is
the social equivalent of stepping off a sandbar into the deep end of
the ocean.

It is more than the pressure of getting good grades, sports team
tryouts and university chatter.

It is more than the lost feeling of moving from a secure environment
to a sea of new -- and much older -- faces in the halls of the high
school.

According to the United States National Center on Addiction and
Substance Abuse at Columbia University, it is the single riskiest time
in our children's lives because of the sudden availability of drugs
and alcohol.

Compared with 13-year-olds, 14-year-olds are four times likelier to be
offered prescription drugs; three times likelier to be offered
Ecstasy; three times likelier to be offered marijuana and two times
likelier to be offered cocaine, according to the addiction and
substance abuse centre.

In addition, a centre survey shows that, compared to 13-year-olds,
14-year-olds are much more likely to attend parties where parents are
present -- but where drugs and alcohol are present as well.

The centre has been surveying the attitudes of teens and their parents
on the subject of drugs and alcohol use for 11 years.

But, said Joseph Califano, the former secretary of health, education
and welfare and chair and president of the addiction and substance
abuse centre, "There is a special alert in this year's survey for
parents of young teenagers.

"The transition from age 13 to age 14, often when the shift from
elementary to high school occurs, is a time of dramatically escalating
substance abuse risk."

The reason is that our elementary-schoolers are moving into a world of
drug and alcohol use and leaving their clueless parents behind, and
the disconnect is alarming.

For example: virtually all parents (98 per cent) say they are present
during parties they allow their teens to have at home. But a third of
teen partygoers report that parents are rarely or never present at the
parties they attend.

Virtually all parents (99 per cent) say they would not serve alcohol
at their teen's party, but 28 per cent of teen partygoers have been at
parties where parents were present and teens were drinking alcohol.

Eighty per cent of parents believe that neither alcohol nor marijuana
is usually available at parties their teens attend, but half of teen
partygoers attend parties where either or both are available.

Do the math, people. Either there is one house where the parents are
absent and the kids are partying and one other house where the parents
are present and serving alcohol -- or there are plenty of houses where
the parents are kidding themselves.

"The message is laser-sharp," said Califano. "Teen drug and alcohol
use is a parent problem, not just a teen problem."

As our children move from elementary school to high school, one thing
remains constant: they are ferociously social and they can't get
enough of each other's company. The instant messages, text messages
and cellphone calls quickly give way to group outings and to parties.

And it is dead certain that someone will bring drugs or alcohol
along.

Parents may not be able to control the passing of flasks or joints in
the stands of a high-school football game, but they can certainly
control what happens in their own homes.

The kids will be mortified, but the parents have to be the parents,
and supervise any gathering at their homes, whether it is an official
party or not.

That means greeting everybody at the door and asking for
introductions; eyeballing the guests and acting when you sense
trouble. Don't be afraid to send someone packing.

It means passing through the room where the kids have gathered every
few minutes. Smile cheerfully and offer something to eat, certainly.
But never retreat to your bedroom.

The result may be that your horrified daughter will never invite any
of her friends to your house. That's pretty much what mine did.

If that happens, you have to work your sources until you find out
where the kids are hanging out. Then call the parents to see if they
are home and supervising the group, recognizing that, if the addiction
and substance abuse centre survey is correct, they may be kidding you,
along with themselves.

And then, you must endure the door-slamming objections of your newly
minted high schooler who claims she can never show her face in school
again. (Girls have closed the gender gap, according to the centre, and
are at equal, or higher, risk of substance abuse as boys.)

Remember. Your children have plenty of friends -- regardless of their
objections to the contrary.

But they've only got two parents. And one life. For their sake, be the
grown-up.