POTCROCK

Not since the movie Reefer Madness, with its absurdly exaggerated
fear-mongering about marijuana, has the War on Drugs offered such a belly
laugh. Now, courtesy of Florida's new drug czar comes "Killer Fungus Touted
to Eradicate State Pot Crop!"

Fresh from Washington, D.C., Jim McDonough is putting down roots in
Tallahassee. This pusher of fungal fatuity is lobbying to introduce an
invasive plant, a "mycoherbicide" to Florida.

Will the wonders of biotechnology never cease? "Men have become the tools of
their tools," Henry David Thoreau wrote a century ago. To which I might add,
"and pray let us pry the tools from the fools."

Talk about invasive. McDonough, in a tone of injured refinement, wrote a
memo blasting the EPA's voices of reason, those state-employed scientists
who caution against any such fungus fiasco.

Stuffily, he declaimed: "Before we conclude that it cannot be done, let us
take every opportunity to consider how it might be done safely."

My, my. Let's consider:

(1) No matter that "the fungus could mutate, spread and kill off everything
from tomatoes to endangered plants,"as scientists at the Florida Department
of Environmental Protection fear.

(2) No matter that Florida already suffers from melaleuca run amok, since
the government once seeded the Everglades with this Australian tree to help
drain the swamp. Or that King-Kong kudzu, imported from China to control
erosion, is covering Georgia and North Florida in a green shroud,

(3) No matter that, according to the Audubon Society, "On public lands, an
estimated 4,600 acres of native wildlife habitat are lost daily to alien
plants with no natural enemies."

(4) No matter that the federal government this month began regulating the
discharge of ballast water from cargo ships entering all U.S. ports, fearing
the environmental havoc created by the introduction of foreign species.

How far the drug czar lags behind the times. A killer fungus might have
earned consideration in, say, the 1950s and 1960s, when technology seemed
the answer to everything. That was during the era when The Day of the
Triffids by John Wyndham was published. This science-fiction classic
forecast the balance of power shifting from humans to the plant kingdom.
Ghastly stinging plants that walk are the byproduct of government
engineering undertaken in the name of national defense and capitalist
supremacy.

In our post-triffid world, we know way too much to even CONSIDER fungal
frivolity. We know the potential of an alien plant to spread quickly, to
crowd out native species, to disrupt fragile balances in nature.

Not even the most accomplished scientists in the field completely understand
the interactions between fungi, in the soil and the roots of plants they
infect. Scientists do know that, by having a biological killer attack pot
plants, we might force the maryjane to evolve strong defenses. How easy it
would be to lose control of the fungus

If Florida's drug czar had been content to quietly do his job, focusing on
education and things that count, we might have stayed ignorant of the
existence of his superfluous bureaucratic position and its consumption of
taxpayer dollars. Poor McDonough. Not only is he going to be forever famous
for this godforsaken folly, but also he has forced on us the familiar
sadness of a bankrupt Drug War.

Thoughtful people across America, ranging from civil libertarians to chiefs
of police, question the Drug War, a colossal and expensive failure that has
failed to halt drug import or drug use. A stunning waste of resources, this
high-profile, low-yield effort has succeeded in filling jails with young
people whose nonviolent crimes have earned them decades-long or life
sentences. Its continuation is "sucking positive energy out of America,
exaggerating economic polarization, harming race relations, public health,
our justice system, and our cities," according to Efficacy, a
Connecticut-based nonprofit organization advocating, peaceful -ways to
respond to social problems.

Yet when it comes to marijuana, we persist in unworkable policies.
McDonough's fungus folly is just the latest fear-based, coercive effort.

Drugs are not a new phenomenon. Opiates were common in Europe. Tea from
potent poppy plants was a staple in parts of Asia. The American Indians used
tobacco and peyote sparingly, without the plague of abuse, in spiritual
rituals, For most of human history, even when ready access to potent drugs
existed, societies have regulated their use without fear-based policies. As
America's own failed Prohibition proves, drugs (including alcohol) pose the
worst problems when they are outlawed.

Florida's marijuana growers are as inventive as the plant is hardy. Just 30
years ago, imported pot was the cannabis of choice, with homegrown varieties
filling in only in a pinch. Government interdiction created an inconvenience
for potheads, who in a burst of innovation created a superior domestic crop.
Surely they will get around any new fungus problem. A quick search of the
Internet shows detailed fungus-fighting data already available.

Indoor gardening, for instance, is an option. Thirty years of experience
have allowed cultivators to perfect techniques, in settings that range from
rural barns to city office buildings, even attics. A worker doesn't even
need to be on site to take advantage of a warehouse's excellent lighting to
cultivate an indoor crop impossible to trace to its grower.

In Florida, smalltime growers and police even seem to enjoy a little
"marijuana cat-and-mouse." I know of an instance where one of those
lost-in-the-'60s types planted a pot plot in the woods. One day when the
happy farmer showed up to tend his plants, he found them uprooted. Left for
him to find was the local narcotics agent's business card.

If this were 1950, the time of birth for many baby boomers, a "hooch-icide"
scheme would be frightening. Some bozo of a government official might
actually approve a plan to tamper with the environment, daring the gods to
hit us all with the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Today the concept is funny. ------