POT CROCK

Not since the movie "Reefer Madness," with its absurdly exaggerated
fear-mongering about marijuana, has the War on Drugs offered such a belly
laugh. Now, courtesy of Florida's new drug czar comes "Killer Fungus Touted
to Eradicate State Pot Crop!"

Fresh from Washington, D.C., Jim McDonough is putting down roots in
Tallahassee. This pusher of fungal fatuity is lobbying to introduce an
invasive plant, a "mycoherbicide," to Florida. When the idea was
challenged, McDonough wrote a memo blasting the state-employed scientists
who caution against any such fungus fiasco.

Stuffily, he declaimed: "Before we conclude that it cannot be done, let us
take every opportunity to consider how it might be done safely."

Indeed, consider:

* No matter that "the fungus could mutate, spread and kill off everything
from tomatoes to endangered plants," as scientists at the state Department
of Environmental Protection fear.

* No matter that Florida already suffers from melaleuca run amok, an
infestation begun when the government seeded the Everglades with the
Australian tree in an attempt to help drain the swamp. Or that King-Konh
kudzu, imported from China to control erosion, is covering Georgia and
North Florida in a suffocating green shroud.

* No matter that, according to the Audubon Society, "On public lands, an
estimated 4,600 acres of native wildlife habitat are lost daily to alien
plants with no natural enemies."

* No matter that the federal government last month began regulating the
discharge of ballast water from cargo ships entering all U.S. ports,
fearing the environmental havoc created by the introduction of foreign
species.

How far the drug czar lags behind the times. A killer fungus might have
earned consideration in, say, the 1950s and 1960s, when technology seemed
to be the answer to everything. That was during the era when "The Day of
the Triffids," by John Wyndham, was published. The science-fiction classic
forecast the balance of power shifting from humans to the plant kingdom.
Ghastly stinging plants that walk are the byproduct of government
engineering undertaken in the name of national defense and capitalist
supremacy.

In our post-"Triffid" world, we know way too much to even consider fungal
frivolity. We know the potential of an alien plant to spread quickly, to
crowd out native species, to disrupt fragile balances in nature.

Not even the most accomplished scientists in the field completely
understand the interactions between fungi in the soil and the roots of
plants they infect. Scientists do know that, by having a biological killer
attack pot plants, we might force the cannabis to evolve strong defenses.
How easy it would be to lose control of the fungus.

Thoughtful people all over America and across the political spectrum, from
civil libertarians to chiefs of police, question the drug war, a colossal
and expensive failure that has halted neither drug import nor drug use. Its
continuation is "sucking positive energy out of America, exaggerating
economic polarization, harming race relations, public health, our justice
system, and our cities," according to Efficacy, a Connecticut-based
nonprofit organization advocating peaceful ways to respond to social problems.

Drugs are not a new phenomenon. Opiates were common in Europe. Tea from
potent poppy plants was a staple in parts of Asia. The American Indians
used tobacco and peyote sparingly, without the plague of abuse, in
spiritual rituals. For most of human history, even when ready access to
potent drugs existed, societies have regulated their use without fear-based
policies. As America's own failed Prohibition proves, drugs (including
alcohol) pose the worst problems when they are outlawed.

Florida's marijuana growers are as inventive as the plant is hardy. Just 30
years ago imported pot was the cannabis of choice, with home-grown
varieties filling in only in a pinch. Government interdiction created an
inconvenience for potheads, who in a burst of innovation created a superior
domestic crop. Surely they will get around any new fungus problem. A quick
search of the Internet shows detailed fungus-fighting data already available.

Indoor gardening, for instance, is an option. Thirty years of experience
have allowed cultivators to perfect techniques in settings that range from
rural barns to city office buildings, even attics. A worker doesn't even
need to be on site to take advantage of a warehouse's lighting to cultivate
an indoor crop impossible to trace to its grower.

In Florida, small-time growers and police even seem to enjoy a little
cat-and-mouse. I know of an instance where one of those lost-in-the-'60s
types planted a pot plant in the woods. One day when the happy farmer
showed up to tend his plants, he found them uprooted. Left for him to find
was the local narcotics agent's business card.

If this were 1950, the time of birth for many Baby Boomers, a "hooch-icide"
scheme would be frightening. Some government official might actually
approve a plan to tamper with the environment, daring the gods to hit us
all with the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Today the concept is funny.