GEORGE W.: IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN

WASHINGTON - I get no kick from writing about cocaine. But the press
is not out of bounds here. Whatever W. did in the past, he has made
his own white mischief in the present.

The problem lies in George Bush's packaging of his myth. W.
understands that the arc of a presidential campaign follows the arc of
a heroic adventure. The candidate must slay the dragon or the giant.

As Joseph Campbell wrote: "A hero ventures forth from the world of
common day into a region of supernatural wonder; fabulous forces are
there encountered and a decisive victory is won; the hero comes back
from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his
fellow man."

John F. Kennedy, Bob Dole, President Bush and John McCain offered
traditional conquests. They fought real enemies in war.

But boomers like Bill Clinton and George W. Bush who avoided Vietnam
needed to create domestic dragons and internal giants to kill. Clinton
dramatized his teen-age confrontation with his alcoholic, abusive stepfather.

Yuppie candidates play up painful odysseys of self-discovery. They
slay the Gorgon of addiction and the Hydra of self-indulgence. They
present themselves as redeemed, reborn (or born again) with the
Arthurian virtues -- temperance, loyalty, courage.

W.'s myth (potent because it offers the classic plot line of
succeeding his father as ruler) has been much written about of late:
He was, as his cousin John Ellis said, "on the road to nowhere at age
40." In 1985, he had a serious talk with Billy Graham at
Kennebunkport. He quit drinking, drifting, smoking and chewing tobacco
and became a disciplined, Bible-reading leader who "accepted Christ."

W. is perfectly content when the press hews to this story line:
hothead and goof-off metamorphoses into presidential timber.

He'll talk about overcoming alcohol. He'll talk with pride about his
faithfulness to his wife because it offers a positive contrast with
Bill Clinton. Other "mistakes" are declared off limits.

But as in "Fantasia," once the demons are unleashed it's hard to
contain them. When you pick and choose which dragons you've slain, you
shouldn't be surprised when the press won't be spoon fed from a menu
of sins you choose. They'll also be interested in the ones you want to
hide.

And in hiding, W. began to sound too much like the man he scorns, the
president -- parsing, tap-dancing, obscuring, trying to have it both
ways, dribbling out and selectively revealing the facts.

The Texas governor's tough talk on crime also left him open. He signed
a punitive law in Texas that allowed judges to put people convicted of
possessing less than one gram of cocaine in jail. He is also the new
standard bearer of a party that has worked hard to demonize drug users
as weak and immoral sinners, best treated from a jail cell.

His reaction to the kerfuffle shows that he is still green in many
ways. He clumsily reversed his stance of not going beyond
acknowledging youthful "mistakes," boxing himself in by defining time
periods when he did not do illegal drugs. The coyness was unbearable.
First it was seven years, then it was 15 years, then it was 25 years.
He grew ever more ill at ease and peeved.

By the time he got to Fairlawn, Ohio, on Friday he was still deep in
Clintonspeak. "I think parents, particularly baby-boomer parents,
ought to say to children, `Do not use drugs,' " Bush said. "I think we
owe the children that responsibility to share our wisdom. I worry
about a society that sends a different message. One of the interesting
questions facing baby boomers is, `Have we grown up?' "

He was pressed by The Times' Adam Clymer: "And if a child asks a
baby-boomer parent, `Well, did you?"'

He replied: "I think the baby-boomer parent ought to say, `I've
learned from mistakes I may or may not have made. And I'd like to
share some wisdom with you.' "

Mistakes he may or may not have made? There's not a teen-ager in
America who would swallow that. It's not moral instruction. It's not
even wisdom. It's evasion.

Voters might accept a boomer candidate who admitted he dabbled in
drugs. They might welcome a candidate who said firmly and consistently
"none of your business." But they'll never accept a Bush who sounds
like a Clinton.