TELLING KIDS ABOUT DRUG PAST ALWAYS TROUBLING

When Bruce Bomier heard Texas Gov. George W. Bush stumble last week over
questions about alleged drug use in the past, he felt the sting of
recognition -- and some sympathy.

Bomier, owner of the Institute for Environmental Assessment in Brooklyn
Park, has had that discussion at his own kitchen table with his kids. So
have many of his friends. "By now, most parents I know have tried drugs at
some point," he said. "At some level, they will all have to go through
something like this. So I think it's good for people to watch someone in
leadership deal with it."

Bush, who had earlier refused to discuss rumors of his drug use, began
addressing the issue this past week. After being pressed again on the issue
Friday, he said that fellow baby-boomer parents should warn their children
about drugs and alcohol. "We owe children that responsibility -- to share
our wisdom," Bush said.

Bomier, who wrote a booklet called "Marijuana and the Responsible Parent"
to help people discuss the issue, couldn't agree more. But he and drug
experts acknowledged that the social taboo against any drug use -- and the
fear of losing respect or even a job -- often forces adults into closets of
secrecy.

Indeed, more than a dozen adults who will admit privately to using drugs in
their past were contacted for this article, but none would agree to use
their names, not even those who have shared the information with their
families.

One, who grew up in Holland where drug use is tolerated, worried it could
hurt his business. Another, an attorney, has talked openly about being
arrested for civil disobedience during the Vietnam War, but declined to
discuss smoking marijuana at age 21.

"You can't admit it in this country. You just can't, and that's
unfortunate," said Mark Willenbring, an associate professor of psychology
at the University of Minnesota and an expert in the treatment of addicts.
"We have demonized any and all drug use as somehow immoral.

"The only way you can talk about it is if you have been addicted and gone
to treatment, and that it was the worst time in your life, but now you no
longer use. You can't say you were a user and it didn't ruin your life. It
goes against the dogma."

But, Willenbring said, that's the reality for most people. Being honest
about it would help American families grapple with the issue of drug use.

Politicians, however, seem to realize that the American public might not be
ready for that yet. President Clinton's confession that he smoked marijuana
made him the target of ridicule. Rep. Andy Dawkins' (DFL, St. Paul)
admission to having smoked pot certainly didn't help his bid to become
mayor of St. Paul. And when Gov. Jesse Ventura acknowledged his youthful
indiscretions while in the Navy, he was widely criticized.

Drugs and work

Although average Americans don't usually have to deal with past drug use as
publicly as Bush, many have a lot to lose if it does come up. So, they
refrain from discussing prior drug use for fear it could hamper their
career, or even cost them a job.

Minnesota laws are some of the strongest in the nation in protecting worker
privacy, according to Nancy Brostrom Vollertsen, an employment attorney.
She said a large number of Minnesota firms now test for current drug use,
but she would not advise her employer-clients to ask about prior drug use.
"If an employee participates in an illegal activity today, it may be
pertinent," she said. "But I think if they did it years ago, it is not an
indication of how they act now."

Companies are limited by law in the ways they can ask about such things as
drug use. Prying into personal health, for example, is illegal in
Minnesota, so questions about addiction aren't allowed. But if it comes up,
job seekers or employees should deflect the question without becoming
defensive, according to Linda Holstein, an attorney.

" 'It's none of your business' is not a good answer," she said. "I think
most employers respect candor."

Vollertsen said that responding with, "I went to college in the '60s, what
else can I say?" might be an effective diversion for an employer.

People who work in law enforcement or security don't have the same
protections, and may have to account for past drug experimentation,
attorneys said.

But what about those who work with kids? Are drug questions fair?

Probably not by an employer, but that won't stop students from raising the
issue.

"It's a difficult question to answer for a teacher," said Ed Donahue,
principal of Bloomington Kennedy High School. "Kids have a good sense for
honesty, and if they sense you are not telling the truth, you lose
credibility. But some teachers are also tempted to give kids the indication
that they've 'been around the block' to gain credibility. So it's a
difficult line."

Most teachers probably try to be honest, "which results in a lot of
vagueness," said Donahue.

Talking to kids

Many adults face the Big Question most frequently from their children, and
experts say parents should be forthright, with a caveat:

"Tell the truth, but not the whole truth," said Victor Strasburger,
professor of pediatrics at the University of New Mexico School of Medicine
and author of "Getting Your Kids to Say No in the Nineties If You Said Yes
in the Sixties."

"If you did five-to-ten in the state penitentiary for drugs, that is
probably not really useful for your kids," said Strasburger. Drug use --
like sex should be an ongoing topic of conversation focused on the present,
not the past, he said.

"The focus needs to be on the children, not on the parents' history," said
Ariel White-Kovach, executive director of Hazelden's Youth Services, a
treatment center based in Minnesota. "Parents need to talk to each other
first to find the delicate balance between a person's boundaries and
privacy on one side, and personal credibility on the other," she said.

And, as Bomier points out, how Bush and parents respond to drug questions
may be as important as whether they ever did drugs. "I don't think a
person's past life is something we have a right to pass judgment on. But in
a way, it is a test of character," he said. "How does a person deal with
the truth?"