GARY HAS US BUZZING, BUT NOW WE NEED THE BRAIN CELLS

You've seen him on "Crossfire" and heard him on Imus, but how much
have you really learned about the grains and grams of Gov. Gary
Johnson's drug-decriminalization proposal?

He's told us -- over and over, in a manner not unlike your basic speed
freak -- that he wants a national debate on U.S. drug policy. But
addressing what precise points?

To tread where others apparently are too timid to D.A.R.E., I hereby
submit 10 propositions worthy of a rousing kitchen-table debate.
Gather your remaining brain cells and test your convictions:

a.. Which drugs should be decriminalized? Marijuana?
Methamphetamines? Cocaine? Heroin? In what quantities? Should only
possession be legalized, with trafficking still a crime? What
acceptable methods can people use to obtain their legal substances?

b.. Should drug laws mirror liquor laws? It is legal, for example, to
get royally drunk, but only if you're at least 21 and not if you drive
a vehicle or harm other people or property. Liquor is also governed by
elaborate licensing restrictions, heavy taxes and state and federal
bureaucracies devoted to regulating its sale and distribution.

Should we likewise license drug dealers? Tax drugs? Create a
taxpayer-supported agency to police the industry? What limits, if any,
should be placed on dealers?

c.. Should the state develop a marijuana plantation and control the
distribution of its harvest? Would this be an appropriate way to boost
rural economies and employ welfare moms?

d.. Assuming your use of drugs is perfectly legal, can potential
employers still refuse to hire you if your urine is tainted? If you
answered "yes," are you willing to allow that same employer to refuse
to hire you because you occasionally -- and responsibly and legally --
consume alcohol? What if a pre-employment health screening determines
that you carry the breast-cancer gene? Would the employer who
subsidizes your health insurance be permitted to deny you a job?

e.. Where could you legally consume your drugs? Only inside your home?
On your front porch, after sunset, with the lights turned off? As a
passenger in a car driven by someone who is not doing drugs?
Discreetly behind a tree in a public park? At a rock concert? Inside a
tent pitched in a national forest?

f.. Will advertising of drugs be allowed? (And if it is, can I write
the jingles?)

g.. Your neighbor, Gladys Kravitz, tells the Children, Youth and
Families Department that you are an unfit parent because you sometimes
smoke pot inside your house. A social worker investigates and
determines that your drug use has not affected your parenting skills
and that your children have been taught responsible-use lessons -- the
same ones that the social worker has taught her own children regarding
alcohol consumption.

The social worker now has three options: Put your kids in foster care;
start a file that could lead to such an action if further evidence
develops; or ignore the entire episode. Which would you endorse?

h.. Assume that you grow pot for your personal use. In order to end up
with enough female plants to produce a potent supply of your yearly
intake, you start with a dozen seedlings. Miraculously, they all turn
out to be females, and you suddenly have pounds of pot on your hands
- -- way more than you need. What, if anything, should you be allowed to
do with the surplus?

i.. Should people who receive public-assistance benefits be allowed to
get high? (They are, currently, allowed to drink liquor and smoke
cigarettes.) If you answered "no, they can't get high," how will you
see to it that they don't? Weekly urine tests? Who will pay for and
conduct them? Would you also impose bans on other unhealthy behaviors
- -- eating high-fat, high-sugar foods, listening to talk radio,
watching professional wrestling?

j.. If we do not decriminalize drugs, should we continue to spend
billions of taxpayer dollars conducting a "war" against them? Is the
proper answer to abandon the battle or adjust it? If the answer is
"adjust it," what should be done?

Go now. Start the debate. Make your governor happier than a handful of
psilocybin.