DRUGS OR KIDNEY STONES? COPS FIND STORY A HARD SELL

Suspect Arrested After Bag Of Hard, Brownish-Colored Substance Found

Atascadero - As if kidney stones weren't already a pain, an Atascadero woman
is facing drug charges for possessing what she says are mineral formations
from her urinary tract.

But her tale of the kidney stone did not pass with the officer who arrested her.

Denise Julene Gafner, 41, was arrested Aug. 1 and charged with possession of
a controlled substance after police found a bag containing 1.1 grams of a
brownish-colored, hard substance wrapped in a plastic bag.

In a pre-trial conference earlier this week, her attorney, Ilan Funke-Bilu,
said the suspected methamphetamines are actually kidney stones -- those
body-produced lumps that can render trips to the restroom an agonizing ordeal.

Kidney stones, which are formed when excess minerals, such as calcium, are
crystallized, often become lodged in the channel leading from the kidney to
the bladder.

Because she suffers from a rare kidney disease, Funke-Bilu said, Gafner
needs the impounded material back as soon as possible.

But authorities aren't ready to pitch the stones just yet. The story, after
all, is a hard sell.

"They may well not be a controlled substance," said Mark Weldon, the deputy
district attorney handling the case. "I've been around long enough that
nothing surprises me."

While he has heard of things being suspected of drugs that were not, he has
also heard stories of suspects lying about drugs.

Weldon said he doesn't know whether or not to believe the kidney stone story.

"I have no idea," he said.

According to police reports, Gafner was driving back from a birthday party
in the early morning hours of Aug. 1 when Atascadero police officer Tiffany
Ayles noticed Gafner's 1986 Ford Bronco swerving near Morro Road.

After Gafner allegedly admitted she had consumed a couple of banana and
strawberry daiquiris, Ayles searched the vehicle.

After finding the rock-like substance --- which was placed in a bag that had
been tucked in an eyeglass case inside a purse --- the officer told Gafner
she had found what appeared to be methamphetamines.

According to the report, Gafner laughed and said, "No, no, those are my
kidney stones."

She then told the officer to test the stones.

Ayles arrested Gafner and confiscated the stones, which were eventually sent
to a Department of Justice lab in Goleta, where they remain.

Gafner, whose vehicle was towed, was later released on her own recognizance.

Kidney stones can come in a variety of colors --- including brown --- said a
nurse at a San Luis Obispo urology office.

Some of them are so small they cannot be seen, she said, though they can be
up to a centimeter large.

"Most of them are one millimeter or less," said the nurse, who asked not to
be identified by name.

They can be surgically removed, but they sometimes pass with nature's calling.

While doctors may ask the patient to keep kidney stones so they can be
tested, the patients normally don't need them for medical reasons, she said.

"They don't put them back in you, that's for sure."

Neither Gafner nor her attorney could be reached for comment.

The mystery of the rocks will be revealed before Gafner's Sept. 21
trial-setting conference.

"They'll analyze it about four to five days prior to the hearing," Weldon said.

Funke-Bilu requested the stones be returned to Gafner as soon as the tests
are completed.

Even if the stones pass the drug test, Gafner faces charges on suspicion of
driving under the influence.