JESSE NEVER BEATS AROUND THE BUSH

Until now, I've been luke warm to the macho charms of Jesse "The body"
Ventura. He seemed a freakish blowhard with an addiction for
self-promotion.

Not anymore. Jesse, you da man.

What changed my mind was this summer of political hypocrisy. In our
climate of low dishonesty, Jesse Ventura is a shining paragon.

In case you aren't a hard-core fan-meaning a junkie willing to spend
$29.95 for live per-view- Ventura performed as a referee in the World
Wrestling Federation's Summer Slam. Judged by film clips, the
Minnesota guv earned his fee, which he gave to charity. He postured
and snarled in true rasslin style.

He threw Shane McMahon out of the ring. When a villain, Triple H,
attacked Mankind and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin with a metal chair,
Ventura admonished with a roar, "I'm the law here!"

The prim burghers of Minnesota were shocked. The St. Paul Press
Pioneer accused Ventura of promoting sex and violence. Ventura -
shades of Jack Kennedy, who canceled offending newspapers - barred the
"Pioneer Porn" from the capital.

"They knew I was a wrestler when they elected me, " Ventura said.
"What I do on my night off is my business."

In the fraudulent politics of 1999, Ventura's a wondrous novelty.
With Jesse, there's no caveat emptor, no buyer's remorse, no veils or
disguises. What you see is what you get.

Sure, Ventura may give Minnesotans more all-Jesse-all-the-time than
they wanted. He fences with critics on his own talk show. But it's
his past that Ventura flourishes with in-your-face candor.

Sex? the ex Navy SEAL brags a hooker was so besotten that she gave
her services free. You say senators name stuffy hearing rooms after
departed chairman? Ventura boasts that a Las Vegas brothel named a
room after him.

Could Jesse be the model of the post-millennium politician - a man or
woman who fearlessly dumps his past life for public inspection and
tells press bloodhounds, "There it is. Have at it boy's."

Unlike Jesse, George W. Bush symbolizes the old politics of duck,
fudge and fib - an art at which Bill Clinton was the Rembrandt.

Like Clinton's sexcapades, George W's cocaine obfuscations are a
national joke. One faux political poster shows a waving American flag
with the Republican front-runner's stern face behind the slogan:
"George W. Bush - 25 years Drug-Free!"

If Bush dodges the cocaine question, it's fair to assume he used it.
And knows it was a felony. And knows as president he'd be a
lawbreaker enforcing the drug laws. Maybe yet, Bush will go the
honorable route: confess his youthful drug use and try to change the
laws.

"He's a rich favorite son caught in a poor man's trap," says Rev.
Jesse Jackson, who has preached against the double standard.

I think Jackson's right. Bush's dilemma dramatizes the class and race
injustice of the drug war run by Washington pseudo-tough generals.

Bush is proud of the prisons he has built in Texas. He needs those
jail cells. His state has the second-highest incarceration rate in
America. Bush toughened the drug laws. Meanwhile, federal warehouses
- - thanks to mandatory sentences passed by a panicky Congress after the
1986 cocaine death of Maryland basketball star Len Bias - are jammed
with young offenders.

Do upscale kids like George W. get a pass while inter-city kids do
hard time? Critics say the law's rigged - 5 grams of crack cocaine
brings the same mandatory five-year sentence as 500 grams of power.
Will George W. tell the truth, then lead a rethinking of the drug war?
I doubt it. We're in the gilded age of hypocrisy.

Thus, we have Newt Gingrich blathering through a three-hour C-Span
interview . He compares himself to Henry Clay, hints he may run for
president. Newt calls Clinton a "tragedy" and maintains "there's a
difference between private behavior and lying to a grand jury,"
although neither the senate nor any jury convicted Clinton of a crime.

Newt doesn't talk much about his own behavior - leaving his wife,
Marianne, for 33-year -old Callista Bisek. No wonder. While he was
behind the scenes masterminding the House impeachment of Clinton for
sex with a White house intern, Gingrich was having an affair with a
young congressional aide.

Yep, Jesse "The Truth" Ventura looks saintly compared with old-style
pols.

And maybe we should stop laughing at the presidential hopes of Warren
Beatty, whose past is equally public.

If you believe Beatty's sexual exploits, he's been linked with some
legendary beauties.

I can see Beatty's bumper sticker now: "Put a Real Womanizer in the
White House."

Jesse and Warren, the millennium let-it-all-hang-out
ticket.