GOVERNORS: MOST MACHO OF THEM ALL?

SANTA FE -- Gary Johnson, Macho Man? Time magazine thinks
so.

In a recent issue, Time discussed Arnold Schwarzenegger's interest in
running for governor of California. It concluded that he not only
would face tough political competition, if he got elected he might not
even be the most macho governor.

Time then listed the macho strengths and weaknesses of Schwarzenegger,
Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura and New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson.

Schwarzenegger, it noted, is a former Mr. World, Mr. Olympia and Mr.
Universe. He has been the tough guy in numerous action movies, in
which he popularized the phrase, "Hasta la vista, baby." But he is now
hampered by arthritis and heart trouble, and he likes to wear Hawaiian
shirts.

Gov. Ventura is a former Navy SEAL and professional wrestler. He was
nicknamed "the Body" and the unofficiaal state slogan is "My Governor
can beat up your Governor." On the minus side, Time notes he used to
wear pink tights and a feather boa and now prefers to be called "the
Mind."

Gov. Johnson competed in three Ironman Triathlons, climbed Mt.
McKinley, bicycled across New Mexico five times and hang glided off a
10,000-foot mountain. And he's nicknamed "Ironman." Johnson's
negatives are his height and weight disadvantage, a wimpy slogan:
"People before politics," and not being on record as ever pummeling
anyone.

Obviously Time didn't bother checking with Sen. Manny Aragon or the
New Mexico Republican Party about Johnson never pummeling anyone. OK,
it wasn't physical pummeling, but there are scars. In Aragon's case,
most of those scars ended up on House Speaker Raymond Sanchez and 1998
Democrat gubernatorial candidate Martin Chavez as a result of
Johnson's "Manny, Ray and Marty" mantra. The state GOP is trying to
hide its scars from Johnson's advocacy of drug legalization, but they
are becoming more visible all the time.

Time's piece on the macho men left some questions. Like where was I
when Gary Johnson was nicknamed Ironman? Maybe it has been in some of
the national media I haven't seen. Or maybe that's what he's called at
home. It's not an inappropriate name, considering his feats, but it
doesn't really describe the total image of Gary Johnson. Neither does
the currently popular "Puff Daddy," or the name popular during
legislative sessions: "Veto Vato." Other nicknames have been used, but
none have stuck.

Got any ideas? Send them to me at 3 La Tusa, Santa Fe 87505 or e-mail
them to millerjay@compuserve.com.

We also have to come up with a better slogan for our governor now that
he doesn't need "People before politics" to campaign with anymore.
Send me ideas on that one. too.

Jesse Ventura's favorite slogan, which Time didn't mention, is "I
ain't got time to bleed." It was the title of his autobiography. What
slogan can be more macho than that? It was Ventura's most memorable
line from Schwarzenegger's last action film. That's right, they're
buddies. They'd make quite a tag team if both were governor at the
same time. Just don't pair Ventura with wrestler Hulk Hogan, who also
has political ambitions. That duo's mutual dislike goes far beyond the
ring.

Time lists riding a Harley-Davidson as one of Schwarzenegger's macho
qualifications, but both Ventura and Johnson also ride hogs. A Harley
was Ventura's only means of transportation for several years after he
got out of the Navy.

When their macho qualifications are tallied, Gary Johnson looks
strong. Most of Schwarzenegger's and Ventura's images are based on
what they did in the past. Johnson, the youngest, is still compiling
his record. He hasn't climbed Everest yet, but he will. That's gotta
be more macho than climbing in the ring with Andre the Giant.

And it can certainly be argued that taking on the cause of drug
legalization, when it means getting dumped by all your political
friends and going it alone. is at least macho, if not downright
daredevil crazy.