BE HONEST WHEN TELLING KIDS ABOUT YOUR DRUG USAGE

Your 15-year-old looks you in the eye and asks you to tell the truth: Did
you ever do drugs when you were a kid? The answer is easy, of course, if
you never experimented with drugs. It's tougher if you did try drugs 20 to
30 years ago and long ago learned that they weren't for you.

The question recently came into the news when GOP presidential front-runner
George W. Bush said baby boomers should tell their children that "I am not
going to talk to you about mistakes I may or may not have made, but I have
some wisdom to share with you." Some parents may choose to be more
forthcoming, however. If so, they should put some thought into how they
will answer the question. Here are five things to consider when your
children ask about your past.

1. Consider your child's maturity level.

It's OK to evade a question about drugs if a child is so young that he or
she wouldn't really understand the answer. A 6-year-old doesn't really need
to know. Tell them that you'll talk about it when they're older.

2. When they are old enough to hear, don't lie to them.

Many federal agencies and national nonprofits, such as the Safe and Drug
Free Schools Program of the U.S. Department of Education, say that if a
child asks about past drug use, the best thing to do is to tell the truth.

Here's why: Kids will see right through an evasive answer, and they'll know
if you are trying to wiggle out of an uncomfortable situation. If your
child someday tries drugs, you want him or her to come forward and be
honest with you.

And a child may someday overhear or be told about some of the mistakes of
your youth. If you've lied to them and they discover the truth, your
credibility will be lost.

And if a parent is evasive or lies about his or her own experience, the
issue can become larger in the child's mind, says Carol Anne Darwin,
psychotherapist, the Center for Change, Development and Support in Fort
Worth, Texas.

"I think kids need realness. It's not enough to know that `drugs are bad.'
They may benefit from hearing your experience," Darwin says.

3. So exactly what do you say?

Here's an example, recommended by Alyse Booth of the Center on Addiction
and Substance Abuse at Columbia University in New York:

"Yes, I did. It was a mistake I don't want you to make. We know so much
more about the dangers of drugs now, and drugs are stronger and more
addicting than they used to be. That's why our household policy is `no' on
drugs."

4. Don't give too many details.

Remember the sole purpose of talking honestly to your children about drugs
is to offer them guidance. It isn't necessary to describe what you did at a
Grateful Dead concert in 1973. Adding too many details just may make drugs
seem glamorous or fun.

5. Consider family counseling.

Christy Conklin, drug and alcohol counselor at Family Services of Fort
Worth, said parents who are too uncomfortable with the subject should
consider family counseling to open the lines of communication.