JUDGE JUDY THROWS BOOK AT FOLKS WHO DESERVE IT

Yes, there's some justice in this world.

After years of watching America's abnormalities parade past Jerry Springer,
Jenny Jones, Ricki Lake, Montel Williams and Sally Jessy Raphael, finally
somebody is telling these goofballs what we've all been thinking.

Judith Sheindlin, TV's Judge Judy.

My new hero.

"Something's wrong with you! Big time!" she shouts at a father whose
teenage daughter ran away from home.

"You have no morals," she tells a bartender who took financial advantage of
an older woman.

"Get used to it!" she screams at a stepmother who has been feuding with her
husband's ex-wife over treatment of her stepdaughter.

It's not surprising to me that "Judge Judy" has rocketed in the national
ratings. We're fed up with all the lyin', cheatin' losers who pollute the
airwaves. We're ready for someone to slap these people around, if only
verbally. We've been waiting for the reality check that Judge Judy delivers
from the bench every day.

Nationally, "Judge Judy" has passed "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and "The Jerry
Springer Show" to become the highest-rated syndicated show that is not a
game show. Only "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy!" have a bigger
syndication audience. Judge Judy's 7.3 million viewers outmuscle Oprah (6.1
million), Springer (4.4 million), Montel Williams, Sally Jessy Raphael
(each 3.2 million) Maury Povich (3.1 million), Ricki Lake (2.7 million),
Roseanne (2.3 million) or Jenny Jones (2 million).

None are as blunt as Judge Judy, the former New York Family Court judge
whose 1996 best seller was called "Don't Pee On My Leg and Tell Me It's
Raining." (Harpercollins, $24).

Judge Judy doesn't just sit there, nodding in tacit agreement at
dysfunctional folks, like Jerry or Jenny or Sally Jessy. On "Springer,"
they tossed chairs. On "Judge Judy," she throws the book at 'em.

"You're a liar. I can tell you why you're a liar," she confronts a woman in
her TV courtroom, while looking over her case.

"You have no morals," she tells a 33-year-old bartender refusing to repay a
$3,339 loan from a woman, 48, who was romantically interested in him. "That
makes you sort of a despicable person, doesn't it?"

"You want to buy a car for a 17-year-old who left your house against your
wishes, and went off to live with her boyfriend? You don't reward bad
behavior by giving them a car!" she admonishes the father of a runaway
teenager.

"It was very dumb, and stupid, and irresponsible!" she scolds a woman who
alerted authorities about an unlicensed day-care service operated by her
husband's ex-wife. "It's not your business!"

Many cases are small-claims stuff, disputes over bad debts or broken
promises. At the center of most cases are shattered hearts or fractured
families. Judge Judy hears real cases from people who agree to submit to
her ruling, technically an arbitration process. She tapes in a Los Angeles
studio. You get the impression that some of these people could have walked
into Judge Judy's courtroom directly from Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones.
(In fact, her on-air solicitation says: "Are you in a family dispute? Call
Judge Judy at 888-800-JUDY.")

Cash settlements aside, the harshest judgment from Judy comes when she
stares at the guilty party and barely whispers the verdict: "Don't do it
again!"

My personal theory for her popularity is that, as the movie "Network"
(1976) predicted, we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it any
more. For years, we've been yelling at the TV set, particularly at the
weirdos who have taken over TV talk shows. Now we have someone who does it
for us. We have someone we can cheer for, putting these disgusting
degenerates in their place.

That's why Judge Judy rules.