SEX, DRUGS AND COMMUNITY

How visible are the effects of drug and alcohol abuse? Not very
visible in a place like Salt Spring.

Those affected by drug and alcohol abuse generally keep themselves out
of sight. We don't see the effect of abuse as we drive to school and
work, or do our shopping in Ganges.

Unless we listen to a police scanner or talk directly to people who
work with abusers or to those who are actually involved, it is
unlikely we will ever know the depths to which abuse exists on Salt
Spring. It occurs mostly within its own small, cloistered community.

But this doesn't mean we should close our eyes to it or pretend it
doesn't exist. Even one child drugged and raped at a party, or one
Grade 7 student buying crack, or one drinking-driving fatality, is too
much.

Several drug- and alcohol-related problems have been identified on
Salt Spring. Among them is the issue of young girls attending parties
where alcohol and drug abuse occurs and then being sexually victimized
by older males.

There can be only so much finger pointing and so much
head-in-the-sand-type reaction before the community needs to look for
solutions. Unfortunately, some roots of the problem are entwined in
popular culture.

For example, youths are inundated with sexual imagery from the time
they are very young. They see it on the Internet, on television, in
the movies and magazines. Sexual conquest (by males and females) is
presented as one of the points of human existence.

These images teach girls that their bodies hold power. The underlying
message is: girls don't have to be smart or articulate, they don't
have to be good at sports or art, they just have to dress
provocatively, and the world will swoon at their feet.

Judging by the many bright and capable young girls living here today,
this message is not swallowed by all. However, it is important that
every parent take time to counter this thinking by teaching their
daughters early on the difference between exploitation and appropriate
sexual behaviour. (Parents will have their own ideas on what
"appropriate" looks like.) Girls need to learn to respect themselves,
have a clear sense of their own boundaries, and be assertive enough to
maintain those limits. They need to learn these skills while they are
young because they will be needed by the time they hit their early
teens. The age of 14, after all, is the legal age of sexual consent.

In society today, children become "sex savvy" early. So from a young
age they also need to be learning about AIDS, sexually transmitted
disease and teenage pregnancy.

Young girls also need to be encouraged to hang out with kids their own
age, making them less likely to be pressured into situations they do
not have the maturity to handle. And parents need to put energy into
keeping track of their kids. Many teens can spin masterful tales as to
where they are going and where they have been. But it has to become
part of the parent culture to check up on kids, finding out where they
are sleeping and who they're hanging out with.

Some adults appear to condone alcohol abuse and drug experimentation
among youth as a natural part of teen-hood. Many recall their own
party days and the fact they "survived." But how many of us can look
back and not see someone who didn't "survive." Someone who is still
hooked on drugs and/or alcohol, perhaps living in an abusive
relationship. Someone who died in a drinking and driving accident; did
time in jail; turned to prostitution; committed suicide. This is not a
natural progression of teen-hood. A dead youth is a tragedy. The life
of a substance-addicted adult can be a wasted one.

Even if we understand in our hearts that our children will experiment
to some degree, we cannot condone it. How do we live with ourselves if
we give them the go-ahead, and they don't survive?

At the same time young men must grow up with a sense of respect and
responsibility. They must become part of the solution and stay away
from young girls. In the 1980s societal pressure changed the
"political correctness" of drinking and driving. Throughout the 90s
and to this day it remains "uncool" to drink and drive. Indeed, most
young people today are far more responsible than their parents when it
comes to drinking and driving.

Society needs to foster a similar regard for sexual activity: it has
to become "uncool" for young men to have sex with young girls. And
negative peer pressure is likely the only way in which this will
occur. It is crucial that the community look this mostly "invisible"
problem squarely in the eyes. Only then can we work to find creative
solutions to save our children.