WELCOME TO LIFE IN 'THE DANGER ZONE'

A question for mom and dad this morning. Actually, a few of them ...

Remember when you were a teenager? No! That's what I'm talkin' about.

Remember how easy it was to pull the wool over your parents' eyes? For a
while there, you might have considered keeping a flock of sheep in the back
yard just for convenience. Remember how gullible they were?

It was easy to fool them. Unless you tripped over gramma and landed on the
cat. That took some quick thinking. They wanted to believe everything and
they would believe most anything.

Drink beer, smoke pot? Not my boy.

I don't care what anybody says, those were the good old days. Parents
haven't changed. They're certainly no smarter and yet the job has gotten
progressively tougher.

Now you're mom or dad. Now it just might be you who doesn't have a clue.

You give them a roof over their head, but they'd rather be out with their
friends. You feed them, but they'd rather eat at the mall.

Fourteen to 18 really are the Minefield Years. When your kid walks out the
door, you're on your own. But they're not. Where are they going? What are
they doing? You never know.

I'm not saying most kids aren't good - and I'm sure yours is - but the bad
crowd just seems so much bigger. Get mixed up in it and a young life can
spiral downhill, out of control, in a hurry.

"Be a leader, not a follower," I tell Ryan, who's 13 and standing on the
precipice of the danger zone.

A follower is going to be led down the road to ruin. A leader is going to
chart his own course.

You be the one in control. Drugs? Just say no. Please! You're riding in a
car with a drunk buddy behind the wheel? Get out. Wrong place, wrong time?
Phone me. Stand and fight? Run and hide.

"Just wait until he's 17," I've been warned. "You ain't seen nuthin' yet."

That's what I'm afraid of. Even if you do all the right things, there's no
guarantee you've done enough. Kids are gonna be kids. They're gonna try
things they shouldn't. They're going to experiment. And some of those
experiments are going to blow up in some of those faces.

If it's not one thing (ecstasy), it's another (crack).

How's a parent to know. That was the question posed by a caller after I
wrote a column about raves recently.

Your daughter hasn't given you a civil look in a week, but on this night
she comes home, throws her arms around you and gives you a big kiss. "I
love you, mom."

Is that the agony of ecstasy?

Here's what I found when I looked up ecstasy on the Internet yesterday ...

Effects: Ego softening; neurotically based fear dissolution; feelings of
emotionally based love and empathy. Lucidity retained, in-depth
communication facilitated, awareness heightened.

Side effects: Appetite loss; stimulation; mild jaw-clenching; mild to
moderate post-session fatigue. Occasional restlessness, nervousness,
nausea, shivering or tremors.

Long-term effects: Concurrent use of stimulants or inhibitors may produce
heart ailments, glaucoma, hypertension, aneurisms, renal disorders,
diabetes or hypoglycemia.

How's that for a hangover?

Then there's crack cocaine. It's said to be rampant in city high schools,
but how do you know if it's rampaging through your teenager's body?

Effects: Varies with dose and tolerance of the user. Increases alertness,
elevates mood, mild to high degree of euphoria, increases athletic
performance, decreases fatigue, increases concentration, energy and
irritability; insomnia, restlessness.

Side effects: Increases heart rate, blood pressure and body temperature.
Dilates pupils.

Long-term effects: Decreased sleep and appetite; seizures, strokes, heart
attacks, death.

And how's this for a hangover?

Withdrawal symptoms: Intense cravings, hunger, apathy, depression,
paranoia, suicidal ideation, loss of sex drive, insomnia or excessive
sleep. Often, more cocaine is taken to reduce these effects.

Life is a vicious circle, all right. It's not nearly as funny now.

(Real Life runs Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Scott Haskins can
be reached by phone: 468-0278, by fax: 468-0139 and by e-mail: hasbin@home.com)