DRUG CHOICE IS KIDS' TO MAKE - AND OURS TO INFLUENCE

If it hasn't happened yet, one day or night soon, it will. Your child, just
like my own, will be offered drugs.

Maybe it's the first time he or she has been offered a chance to get high.
Maybe it's just the first time this weekend. Sometimes our kids will have to
decide three, four or five times a day whether they want to share a joint,
sniff some heroin or pop some Ecstasy.

Most kids have to start making these decisions between the ages of 13 and
14, and each and every time, the choice of what to do is theirs. But make no
mistake - we as parents can do more than just hope they make the right
decisions. The truth is we have a lot to do with influencing those choices.

You see, the decisions kids make about drugs have little to do with their
lifestyle, the color of their skin or where they live. The fact is that no
kid is immune; no matter where we choose to raise our children, they will be
exposed to drugs.

Consider: If you drive a carpool of five kids to soccer practice, to dance
class or even just home from school, odds are that one of the kids in the
car has smoked a joint in the past 30 days.

So, as parents, we have a few choices of our own.

One, we can keep telling ourselves our kids couldn't possibly be exposed to
drugs.

Two, we can accept that our children will be exposed to drugs and just hope
for the best.

Three, we can accept that our children will be exposed to drugs and do
something about it.

This is where having regular talks with our kids about drugs comes in.

I'll admit, it's easy to look at the scope of the drug problem nationally
and ask, ``Why bother? What difference can I possibly make?''

Maybe, just like one out of three parents in a recent Partnership for a
Drug- Free America study, you believe that what you say will have little
influence on whether your child tries marijuana - and that there's really
nothing you can do to help the drug problem.

But the drug problem isn't one massive battle - it's thousands of little
ones. Remember, our kids are making decisions about drugs one kid and one
day at a time. By getting and staying involved with our kids' lives, we can
make a difference, and parents across the nation are providing the proof.

The 1999 Partnership Attitude Tracking Study found that more parents are
talking with their children about drugs more often. Parents say they're
covering the topic more thoroughly and they're speaking more specifically
about the dangers of drug use.

So what's happening? For starters, teen attitudes about drugs are changing
for the better, and teen drug use is leveling off or declining for the first
time in years. In Florida, a recent study found marijuana use among teens
down 38 percent since 1995 - and their cocaine use is down 66 percent over
the same period.

Many things are driving the changes in Florida and across the nation, but
when you consider that kids who learn a lot about the risks of drugs at home
are up to 50 percent less likely to try drugs - and that in 1999, the number
of kids who said they had learned a lot about the risks of drugs at home
climbed significantly - it's impossible to discount the impact parents are
having.

Even when they shrug their shoulders, roll their eyes or simply do their
best to make it seem as if they're ignoring us, our kids are listening to
what we have to say.

We can tell them the reasons we don't want them to do drugs. We can tell
them the risks. We can even just tell them we love them and care about what
happens to them. All of this can make a difference - and we don't have to
wait to get started.

We can talk to our kids about a story in this paper or on the local news
about drugs. We can ask them what's happening at school, ask them what they
think and really listen to what they have to say. If they have any questions
about drugs, we can answer them as openly and honestly as we can.

These are things we can do tonight, tomorrow in the car, next weekend on the
way to the mall - the point is that talking to our kids about drugs is not a
one-time thing. We need to build true relationships with our kids, to
establish an open dialogue about drugs and keep it going.

Does any of this ensure that our kids won't use drugs? Unfortunately, the
answer is no. As in all of life, there are no guarantees, but it is within
our power to tilt the odds in our kids' favor.

Whether to take drugs is up to our kids. Talking to them in hopes that
they'll make the right decision - that's up to us.

Tom Hedrick is a parent and is vice chairman of the Partnership for a
Drug-Free America.