MORE THAN JUST DEATH AND DRUGS

Depending on whose opinion you're asking for, the Toronto rave scene
is either peaceful or disturbed, a haven for drug-sellers or a just a
place for youthful experimentation.

What there isn't, among ravers, former ravers, politicians, police and
media, is anything resembling a consensus about their confusing
culture. I found this out last week after a column misidentified the
after-hours nightclub SPACE as a rave. That was my mistake. But what I
discovered in the process were articulate, intelligent replies, by
telephone call, by letter, by e-mail, from those who have divergent
opinions on what is right and wrong with the rave world and how
passionate so many are about protecting this most misunderstood culture.

For those of us far removed from clubs of any kind, it is often
difficult to distinguish the difference between a rave, a nightclub
and an after-hours club. We hear about one problem and lump them all
in together. We hear about one act of violence and castigate the
entire system. It's easy and convenient and that is a product of being
a parent in his 40s and I confess that's precisely what I am. But that
doesn't mean I don't want to learn and better understand.

"This is our religion,'' said Jandi, a longtime rave-goer. "Life is
full of pain and setbacks, but for eight hours we can clear our minds
and connect with the music... "It is a far more complete union of
souls than any church or mosque: People totally vibing and connecting
with and off each other.'' Jandi, however, is not naive enough to say
there are not problems with raves, the late-night music clubs that
don't serve alcohol but somehow cater to a culture of drugs (that was
about the only consensus in any response; no one is denying drug
usage). "But a few years ago, all kinds of little punks started
showing up (at raves). They're the ones OD-ing, the ones messing up.
It's already happened back home in England in 1992. There was a huge
crackdown.''

Others had similar views. A rave is supposed to be a friendly place
all about music and dancing and partying. It still is that. It still
can be that. It just isn't what it should be often enough. "I have to
admit, I have seen a disgusting change in the entire scene the last
few years,'' said Andrew, another long-time rave partyer.

'The motive used to be listening to something different, being
something different and there was a general love for everything and
everybody and I have to admit that drug use is part of the rave scene.
"There weren't a lot of deaths before. The rave scene has become too
mainstream, too many middle-class kids going. It isn't what it started
out to be.'' But it isn't the place of violence it has been too often
portrayed to be. So many ravers, past and present, stress that. Even
some police say that. Yes, there is techno music. Yes, there is much
drug usage. But no, it is mostly a peaceful scene.

"I am in no way saying that these are wondrous magical places in which
everyone is safe and happy,'' wrote Sarah in an e-mail. " I've seen
the scene make people and I've seen it break people. I've watched old
friends turn into drug addicts but I have also watched friends build
themselves into strong people.'' Her description, to me, sounds like
my life in high school and university days. Where everybody tries
different ways and different things and years later you look back and
see who escaped, who advanced, and who never progressed. Some went on
drugs, some went off drugs and some were consumed by them.

"People have a false impression at what raves are,'' said Chris,
another raver, who took exception to what was written here. "From what
I've heard, I don't think most adults know what they are. The media
has helped distort the view and you are part of that media with your
own distortions.''

The last several months have brought much attention to raves, in light
of some arrests and the inquiry into the death of Allan Ho. You hear
drugs and you hear death and it is so easy for a suburban adult to
scream -- as I did -- without seeing there are more sides to these
stories than any of us can completely comprehend. I still don't
understand why they have to go on all night, why there can't be
reasonable rules for some unreasonable behaviour. But at least I'm
trying to understand.