ENGLAND FANS ARE A BUNCH OF DOPES

PEACE PIPES: DUTCH POLICE SAY CANNABIS HAS HELPED STOP EURO 2000 BECOMING
BATTLEFIELD FOR THE YOBS

ENGLISH football yobs are smoking so much pot at Euro 2000 that they are too
chilled out to run riot.

The England fans have been consoling themselves by making the most of
liberal Dutch laws which allow cannabis to be smoked freely in bars and
cafes.

And Dutch police believe it is one of the reasons why English hooliganism
has yet to rear its ugly head at the tournament.

After England's embarrassing 3-2 defeat by Portugal on Monday, the cannabis
bars of Eindhoven were packed full.

And there was no trouble reported despite the dramatic defeat, which came
after England had gone 2-0 in front.

Last night, Eindhoven police spokesman Johann Beelen said: "Cannabis does
make people relax so that played a part.

"The police operation went very well. Every Englishman in the city told us
they were satisfied with the policing, even the known hooligans."

Before the game, Dutch shop-owners and civic leaders admitted they feared
the worst. And after the match, locals were geared for a bloody backlash
from the English lunatic fringe.

But there were just five arrests, three of them for ticket tout offences.

There was a carnival atmosphere before the game, with a brass-band playing
on top of a double-decker bus.

City official Guus Bos, of the public prosecution office, said: "Everyone is
having a ball. I've just left some England fans chatting and dancing with a
group of Portuguese supporters."

Matthew Burgin, 28, with a group of fans who travelled from Cardiff for the
match, shook hands with Mr Bos.

He said: "People tend to assume the worst when you're abroad, and sometimes
the real fans don't get a chance. It's forgotten the bad ones are in a
minority."

The authorities were so worried about trouble they insisted on only
under-strength beer being made available to the English in plastic glasses.

Loud music drowned out any prolonged chanting, with the volume turned up at
the remotest sign of potential problems.

Meanwhile, Record readers were quick to point out yesterday that Rule
Britannia, taken up as an anthem by English fans, was actually written by
Scots.

It was composed in 1740 by James Thomson of Roxburghshire and David Mallet,
of Perthshire.

They later fell out, each claiming the other had not been involved in the
writing.