NABISCO CAN NOW FATTEN NICOTINE-ADDICTED CONSUMER CALVES

The continuing failure of America's war on drugs dominated page one of
Monday's P-I when it was announced that a consortium of "drug" dealers
had compiled enough money ($14.9 billion) to purchase Nabisco Holdings
("Tobacco company snaps up Nabisco").

With greater control of the processed-foods market worldwide, the drug
lords at Philip Morris will be able to prolong the fattening of their
nicotine-addicted calves, thereby boosting their long-term profits at
both ends of the deal.

No wonder none of the tobacco execs even broke a sweat while lying
before Congress a few years back. Though their "drug of choice" will
kill more children than the rest combined, Philip Morris chairman
Geoffrey Bible and his ilk know that in this self-righteous jihad,
they've been given diplomatic immunity.

C'mon kids, don't be cynical. Just say no.

David Arntuffus,
Seattle