APOLOGIES TO EVERYONE FOR WEARING WRONG TROUSERS

Susan Rolling, the Hampshire police spokeswoman, said of my mistaken arrest
last Sunday on Southsea Common: 'Anyone who wore hemp trousers in an effort
to confuse our sniffer dog should not have been surprised to be temporarily
detained (Police defend tactics at cannabis-protest picnic).

I must apologise to Ms Rolling and the taxpayers of Portsmouth for wearing
the wrong trousers. I'm also very sorry to inform Ms Rolling that I had no
idea a sniffer dog would be present. In fact, I am wearing hemp jeans now -
I have no cotton jeans. Can everybody who wears hemp clothing now expect to
be arrested?

I would be interested to learn from Ms Rolling the cost of the operation.

I understand, from a sympathetic police officer, that the sniffer dog came
from British Transport Police in London. As the dog, unfortunately,
apparently indicated many people who were not in possession of controlled
substances, perhaps it should be retired.

I would, however, like to extend my thanks for the tact and professionalism
shown by the officer who arrested me and the officer who searched me. I hope
the Oxo cube added an extra piquancy to their Sunday joints!

The next time I visit Southsea I will be wearing a suit.

Phil Stovell, Petersfield