UP IN SMOKE: WE TALK TOKIN' WITH THE POT PARTY'S MAN

I don't inhale. Not because I'm philosophically opposed to sucking cigarette
or marijuana smoke into my lungs, but because I don't know how.

I was never cool enough to learn how to smoke. While the other junior high
kids were working on their Fonzy impression, slouching and sneering with a
smoke dangling from their lips, I was reading the World Book Encyclopedia
and listening to BBC radio 4 on my shortwave.

As a result, I was always first to raise my hand when teacher asked which
countries led the world in the production of pig iron. But I also got my
head flushed down the toilet a lot.

My smoking career began and ended at age 16, the night some friends and I
puffed a couple of packs of cigarettes in a parking lot behind an R-rated
movie theatre in downtown Calgary. In rapid succession, I went from being
debonair to being woozy to being violently ill to being a non-smoker for
life.

As for marijuana, I can count on one hand the number of times I have
succesfully experimented with the demon weed. For some reason, I rarely
experience any kind of high, zipping instead right through to the paranoia
stage where you angrily accuse your friends of serving you dog food when
they're just offering a plate of lasagna. Sorry about that, Al.

So, I'm no pothead. But I'm not a narc, either, and I don't call Crime
Stoppers every time someone around me lights up. Besides, the police don't
bother much with simple possession any more, preferring to go after those
who grow it.

Obviously, there's some hypocrisy at work here, or at least a double
standard. If the authorities essentially take the view that it's OK to use
marijuana, why should they zealously prosecute people who are just catering
to the demand? Seems like a form of reefer madness to me.

I was talking pot this week with Marc-Boris St-Maurice, the oddly eloquent
31-year-old leader of the Marijuana Party of Canada who's trying to give
Stockwell Day a run for his money in the Sept. 11 Okanagan-Coquihalla
byelection.

I say oddly eloquent, because I half expected him to be a glassy-eyed
hippie, with incoherent ramblings punctuated by giggles and non-sequiters.

But he ain't nothing like that. Fact, he talked better than me.

Ron: Why should marijuana be decriminalized?

Boris: One out of every four Canadians admits to having tried marijuana.
With the law broken so often, it undermines respect for all laws and
institutions. No serious studies have shown any significant physiological
health risks associated with the use of marijuana.

R: But if I smoke pot, won't I wind up stabbing my grandmother through the
heart with a darning needle in a crack cocaine-induced rage?

B: It doesn't lead to harder drugs, it doesn't induce criminal or violent
behaviour. Marijuana is a 20-billion a year industry in Canada. If it was
regulated and taxed, people would know what they're buying.

R: Do any real politicians share your interest?

B: In 1979, Joe Clark signed a letter saying that one of the priorities of
his government in the first term would be to decriminalize marijuana
possession. We've tried to get a hold of Joe now, to make him reiterate that
commitment. But he's not taking our calls.

R: How many times have you been busted for using pot?

B: I've been arrested six or seven times, aquitted a few times, convicted a
few. So I have a criminal record, but I don't lose sleep over it. At the end
of July, we were pulled over by a cop in Sault Ste-Marie. Just for fun, we'd
stuck a picture of Stockwell Day on the dash and added a picture of a joint
so it looked like it was coming out of his mouth. The cop used that as
probable cause to search our vehicle, and I was charged for having less than
an ounce of marijuana.

My court date is Sept. 11, the same day as the byelection. I haven't decided
if I'll go back, or send a representative.

R: Sounds like you're puffing on something. You smoking a fattie right now
Boris?

B: It's terribly inappropriate to enquire as to a person's individual
marijuana use. I've never seen anyone who is compaigning for gay rights
asked if they're a homosexual.

R: What do you do for a living?

B: I'm a musician in a band called Grim Skunk.

R: What do you do for a living?

B: Being a musician is a regular job. I've crossed Canada and visited 24
other countries.

R: Your criminal convictions must be a problem when you cross borders?

B: I don't go to the US any more. I'm actually taking a hiatus from the band
right now, because they want to do more touring in the States.

R: You think all your pot smoking has made you dopey?

B: Lemme ask you this. Do I come off as someone who can't make intelligent
comments?

R: Moving on, you're from Montreal. Do you know the Okanagan has a
reputation as a pot growers paradise, with lots of grow op's and lenient
judges?

B: I know it's one of Canada's top marijuana producing regions. Actually,
because the byelection is on Sept. 11, I'm afraid that a lot of our
potential supporters, the people who could help us with the campaigning and
getting out the vote, will be busy with the harvest.

- -Ron Seymour is a Daily Courier reporter. His column appears Wednesday and
Friday. Tel. (250) 470-0750