PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS - SEX, DRUGS ROCK AND RELIGION

"Sex, drugs, rock-n-roll," I shouted, "and religion!" A geezer flashing back to Woodstock, or a comment on pop political culture? Voyeuristic media coverage of the sexual proclivities of "Willy" is a result of the vast right-wing conspiracy to discredit our greatest president. Or is the Christian lawyer who "did not inhale," proof of the tragic consequences of secondhand smoke?

Of course Al "Forest Gump" Gore, also admitting to familiarity with Christianity and psychotropic substance, invested "sex ... religion," and when elected, will reinvent them for us.

The other party's political pandered, George W. "smarter than sagebrush" Bush, smirkingly stammering on any issue, is substantiation that Yale graduation criteria are capricious. Or is a vast left-wing media out to get the ex-drinker?

Catering to those recognizing drug policy hypocrisy, the fringe political agnostics, Ralph Nader and Harry Browne, threaten to solve the problem: legalize narcotics, release drug "war criminals" and open a national chain of drive-thru rehab centers. Hmmm!?

If it's rock or rap, moralists condemn the musical tastes of youth. Tipper led a religious crusade against the entertainment industry's disgusting lyrics, including those that played backwards slowly 1,000 times cause devil worship. If she and the other media censorship advocate, Joe Leiberman win the vote, hopefully they will maintain therapeutic levels of Prozac to restrain their zeal.

"Sex ... religion," vote your bias. At the least it could neutralize mine.

Bruce Quentin Hill, Monroe