WOMAN IS TIRED OF STARTING OVER

She has a job she likes. Within a couple of weeks of her release last
year she managed to secure a full-time position with one of Houston's
major corporations.

Her stretch in prison -- 22 months of a four-year sentence -- was for
possession of a small amount of cocaine. She said it has been well
over two years since she last used any illegal drugs.

She has been dating a man she loves. Said he is sensitive,
considerate, smart, believes in God and doesn't drink or use drugs.

"And he can take care of me," she wrote in an e-mail. "He cares about
me. I care about him. I have stopped drinking. I am taking ReVia
(naltrexone) 50 mg. that prevents me from drinking."

She sees a future for herself that in many ways has never looked
brighter, never held more promise of happiness.

However, she also has a big problem. Swearing off the booze is a
recent development. In September, she said, she blew a .12 on a
breathalyzer and was charged with DWI. It is her fifth.

`Good, sensitive and scared'

"I am very scared," she wrote.

She described herself as "a very good, sensitive, gentle person" who
has a college education and made good grades. She said she also is
honest.

"In fact, my counselor told me that I was a compulsive confessor," she
said. "I have never stolen from anyone. I mean it. I have always
worked. I worked since I was 10 years old."

She's well into her 30s now, never married, no children.

It was pretty long, as e-mail messages go. She told of being molested
by a relative over several years as a child. Said that older siblings
started her drinking at age 9. Said her father died of alcoholism.
Said she was moved around a lot as a child, finally being adopted by
relatives when she was a teen-ager.

She suffers from abandonment fears and reactive attachment disorder,
she said, apparently having learned those terms from counseling sessions.

A few years ago, her alcohol abuse landed her in a one-year treatment
program. The day she was to graduate she got caught drinking and got
kicked out. She drank even though she knew if she didn't finish the
program successfully she'd land in jail for a probation violation.

"What I'm trying to say," she said, "is that I have a real addictive
disease. It is cunning, baffling and powerful. How I learned to cope
and comfort myself when I was a child is not working now."

What she fears the most

She said that she goes to AA meetings on a daily basis. Said she is
getting treatment on an outpatient basis and is willing to continue
taking the medication that reduces the desire to drink. But it is
another stretch in prison that looms over her like a dark cloud.

"I am very scared that I may lose some more years of my life as a
result of this new DWI. I cannot face the thought of losing again. I
am tired of starting over. I am a law-abiding citizen. The reason I am
writing you is to ask you what you think."

Of course, what I think has no bearing upon your situation. Your
course will be set by officials in the criminal-justice system. But
since you asked:

I think nobody wants to share the road with a drinking driver. As a
matter of fact, MADD says that 72 percent of all drivers believe
penalties for drinking and driving should be even more severe than
they are.

I think some day motor vehicles will be equipped with safety devices
to prevent their starting by anyone who has been drinking. That way we
will eliminate the danger of drunk drivers and won't have to spend so
much money locking up so many of them.

I think some day we will figure out that the physical and mental
aspects of addiction are better handled by doctors and psychological
counselors than by judges and guards.

I think for the present, however, in addition to continued success
with your treatment and counseling sessions, and in addition to the
man you love, you need a real good lawyer.

Good luck with your future life. Please let us know how things turn
out for you. Don't drink and drive.