DEA LEADING AMERICA'S DRUG WAR DOWN THE GARDEN PATH

The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration is after my wife.

Not directly, of course. Di has never smoked so much as a cigarette. She
gets tipsy on a half-glass of wine.

But she loves to garden and work her flower beds, which now makes her a
suspect in the eyes of the DEA.

The evidence came with the arrival of the first seed catalog of the season,
usually a joyous event in our household, a bulwark against the gloom of
growing darkness and a harbinger of distant spring.

And the Thompson & Morgan catalog is a horticulturists's delight. Accurate,
comprehensive and illustrated with photos that in the dank Ohio autumn seem
heartbreakingly beautiful, the catalog promised Di 202 pages of unending
pleasure.

But on Page 2, next to a quarter-page photo of a lovely flower with petals
like strips of bright red crepe, waited a chilling message:

SORRY NOT AVAILABLE

We regret, due to ruling by the Drug Enforcement Administration, we are
unable to supply somniferum poppies to the United States.

My wife was appalled.

Generations of gardeners have grown P. somniferum without becoming opium
fiends. But the feds no longer trust Di and her ilk.

I called the DEA field office in Columbus to check on poppy madness.

The agent, who didn't want his name in the paper, hadn't heard that poppies
were illegal. Good news, but small comfort.

When I turned to Title 21 of the U.S. Code, I found that the "opium poppy"
is indeed a Schedule II controlled substance. Simple possession is a crime
punishable by up to one year in prison and a $5,000 fine.

And someone who sends his sweetie a poppy bouquet -- that is to say,
distributes a Schedule II controlled substance -- faces a prison term of 20
years and a $1 million fine.

The opium poppy -- which goes by a variety of names, including P.
somniferum, P. paeoniflorum, P. giganteum, bread-seed poppy and florist's
poppy -- grows in tens of thousands of gardens in this country. Apparently
the only things keeping tens of thousands of gardeners out of prison are a
lack of bunk space and the goodness -- and perhaps ignorance -- of DEA agents.

Although Thompson & Morgan refuses to sell poppy seeds, dozens of other
suppliers still seem perfectly willing.

In the Pure Land Ethnobotanical catalog, the seed-seller warns: While (P.
somniferum) seeds are completely legal, they may or may not be legal to sow
in some areas and are not offered for sowing purposes.

The Park Seed Catalog from spring 2000 doesn't even bother with niceties.
Park sells a packet of demon P. somniferum, either White Cloud or Oase, for
$1.60, or two for $2.90, straight up with no warning.

The American Horticultural Society also seems perfectly willing to abet
felons. The society's new Practical Guide to Annuals and Biennials offers,
on Page 73, tips on breaking America's drug laws (Opium poppy -- sow in
spring. Often self-seeds.)

Something seems screwy, and that something is the DEA. But it's easy to see
why the drug warriors might be worried. Brewing a potent opium tea is
comically easy, if posts to the poppies.org Web site (subtitled "The
continuing adventures of the world's most controversial flower") are true.

Even the seeds on poppy-seed bagels originate with P. somniferum. If
dropped on the ground, the seeds might well germinate and turn the litterer
from slob to felon.

And many poppy gardeners report success growing somniferum poppies from the
seeds found in any grocery-store spice aisle.

The DEA has had a tiny bit of success against coke-heads and drug lords.
But it has never before taken on a force as powerful and single-minded as
America's gardeners.

The drug warriors should beware what they sow.