CHRISTMAS AFTER FIVE YEARS OF HELL

From Trying Heroin At A Party To Sleeping Rough, David Clarke, Now Two
Years Off Drugs, Tells Judith Crosbie How He Turned His Life Around

David Clarke looks forward to Christmas since he gave up heroin two years
ago. He can now afford to buy his three children things they want and, most
importantly, wants to enjoy it with them. "Before I wouldn't even get out
of the bed for Christmas morning," he says.

"It's great to see a smile on their faces because when I was on heroin,
they weren't really getting anything for Christmas." The 33-year-old from
Dublin's south inner city attends the Merchants Quay Project where he
receives methadone to help him stay off heroin. His life has turned around
since the five years of his addiction. His children and his partner are
back with him, he has a home, he has regained his mother's trust, and he is
learning new skills.

David has just completed a study of the history of Thomas Street where he
interviewed older people living in the area. He is also brushing up on his
reading and writing skills and hopes to go to the Dublin Institute of
Technology on Bolton Street to study addiction counselling next September.

A few family members are harder to convince he has given up drugs for good.
"If I'm in my auntie's, if I go into the kitchen I get followed because
they still haven't got that trust that I'm completely off everything."

David describes the five years he was on heroin. "You never have a happy
life on heroin, ne ver. It's hell. It's hell on earth."

It began at a party when he smoked some heroin he was offered. "I couldn't
believe the buzz was so good. Everything I was feeling inside just went,
was blocked out. That one line led to two and three, and then I was going
to buy my own."

The death of his younger brother when he was a child and a rape attack just
three months later caused David mental anguish over the years which made
heroin a welcome escape route.

"I couldn't even tell my mother or father what was after happening with the
man because my little brother was only after dying three months before . .
. I was nine and he was three and he just let go of my hand and walked out
on the street.

"That took lumps out of me and my mother and father. Their hearts just went
out the window and my father wouldn't speak to me for years. Everything
just built up and I couldn't handle it. That's when heroin came into it."

But the buzz was short-lived and David soon found he was addicted. He sold
his possessions and would spend his entire salary on heroin. At one point
he was taking five or six bags of heroin a day costing UKP 120. He lost his
job and began thieving. A few times he ended up in custody. He became
homeless and turned to his mother, who gave him an ultimatum.

"She said you have a choice. You can stay here or go back out on to the
streets and take your heroin. It was a horrible thing because I stayed out
about three nights. It was freezing, it was in the winter and I said to
myself 'I can't handle this'.

"I went to see a doctor and he said 'I'll give you the help you want.'
Since then he's given me help and got me back on track."

David has been reducing his methadone intake since he began his first
course two years ago. He hopes in six months to come off it completely.

He says it is still difficult to break the mental dependence on the
dangerous drug. "The temptation is always there. I'm off it two years and I
still get the taste of it on my throat. But I know if I do it again that
I'm finished."

The series will run daily this week until Friday