'DRY HOUSES' TRENDY AMONG FAMILIES

Deborah Broughan and her daughter Megan, 18, pose in their home. The family
has agreed to make their home completely free of alcohol. TOM GILBERT /
Tulsa World

Three years ago, when Megan Broughan, then 15, moved to Tulsa from Texas,
her mother wanted to host a party so she could become better acquainted
with her new classmates.

But Megan would not let her. Her father, Dr. Thomas A. Broughan, had joined
the faculty of the University of Oklahoma College of Medicine in Tulsa as
professor and chairman of the Department of Surgery.

"My daughter told me, `I can't have a party,' " recalled Deborah Broughan.
"No one will come because you're not going to serve alcohol."

The mother was incredulous, but after months of listening to other mothers,
she determined that her daughter was probably correct.

What she learned still appalls her. Even though Oklahoma's legal drinking
age is 21, many parents knowingly allow teenagers to consume alcohol at
parties in their homes. Some parents, she says, even collect car keys and
serve it.

Megan felt isolated and alone.

"I felt like I couldn't have any friends because I didn't go through their
bonding, drinking parties," she said.

Spearheaded in large part by Deborah Broughan's efforts and those of
upper-school director Frank G. Jones, Holland Hall this year asked parents
- -- and students -- for the first time to sign a pledge promising that
liquor and drugs would not be available at parties hosted in their homes.

The pledge is voluntary, but parents who sign the pledge are listed in a
directory called "Designated Safe Homes," which is available to any parent
upon request.

Frank G. Jones, upper school director, believes underage drinking has been
at about the same level the last couple of decades, but he perceives the
current environment as potentially much more dangerous.

He concedes he is trying to create more peer pressure among parents.

"The kids have a new tool they didn't have 20 years ago," he said. That
tool: the cell phone.

"They can call from anywhere and say they're somewhere else," he said.
Within minutes, kids can alert one another and converge on a party site.

Jones said drugs are another reason the current environment is more
dangerous for high school students bent on having a party.

Recently, four Holland Hall students were "separated" from the school and
three others suspended for varying degrees of sale, possession and use of
prescription drugs on school property.

"Somehow, the kids don't see this as dangerous," he said, "since the drugs
are a name brand, sold legally, from reputable pharmaceutical companies."

Parent pledges have been used for several years at Cascia Hall, Bishop
Kelley and Monte Cassino.

Although the pledges vary from one school to another, each has three basic
premises: neither alcohol nor drug use will be tolerated by parents hosting
a party; parents will physically be on the premises of a party hosted by
them, and they welcome phone calls from other parents to confirm these points.

Thus far, at Holland Hall, the pledge has been signed by one-fourth of the
high school parents and 42 percent of the seventh- and eighth-grade parents.

The Rev. Bernard Scianna, head of Cascia Hall, where one-third of the
upper-school families has signed pledges, said the issue is forcing parents
to talk to each other.

"Parents used to call me to tell me there's an upcoming party with alcohol.
I would say, `Call the parent or call the police. On top of it, don't send
your kid to that party,' " he said. "They would rather call me and have me
call that parent, rather than call the parents themselves."

Parents say having the list does make it easier to call other parents.
Calling up a "nice" family whom one has known for years, can be awkward,
says John McMahon, a parent who has signed pledges for his children at both
Bishop Kelley and Cascia Hall.

"It's just a list, it's just a tool for awareness. It gives someone a
comfort level, if and when they're at other peoples homes," says McMahon.

About one-fourth of the parents of Bishop Kelley students -- mainly
freshmen and sophomore students -- have signed the pledges.

Some parents say they'll even use the list to determine if their child
attends a particular party, but not everyone is enthusiastic. Laura, a
Holland Hall student whose family prefers her last name to remain
anonymous, says her family is adamantly opposed to underage drinking, but
refused to sign the "Safe House" pledge, which was circulated by the
schools Parent Association Wellness Committee.

"I personally do not feel the school has a right to monitor what students
do in their private time. I think the school has a right to be involved,
but it is an invasion of privacy when the school gets involved with things
that happen in other people's homes, on the weekends, not during an
athletic season," she says.

What families should be doing, she says, is communicating with one another.

Besides, Laura says, such pledges are not always accurate. Laura says she
has known parents from other schools who have signed such pledges, and yet
"lied" about the absence of liquor at parties. Creating such a list of
families could polarize the school community, she says.

"You could get into other problems, like who prays before meals, and who
doesn't. You don't want a separated community. You want a community that's
united. It's very unlikely that the entire community would support the
pledge," she says, and notes that she does not think the sign-up effort at
her school has been very successful.

Invasion of privacy? Perhaps so, says Thomas S. Crewson, chief judge,
Juvenile Division, Tulsa County District Court.

"I think it is an invasion of privacy. But you don't need to sign it. The
people that say, this is an invasion of privacy, they're the ones we see
their kids out here (in juvenile court). So many people are so uninvolved
in their kids' lives. I think this is a tremendously positive step," says
Crewson, who would like to see the pledge implemented in the public schools.

Administrators insist that no stigma is attached to those who don't sign.

"In signing it, all you're doing is affirming you're complying with the
laws of Oklahoma. If there's some opprobrium to be attached to it, that
construction has to be in the mind of those who read this list and draw
whatever conclusion they would about people who don't sign it," says Jones
of Holland Hall.

Monitoring underage drinking is especially difficult because it is usually
conducted primarily on the weekends, away from the school campus. No school
is immune from it, whether public or private. But should the schools have
the right to monitor students' private lives away from school property?

"Yes," says Cascia Halls Scianna.

"When there's negative behavior, the school has a right to intervene. I
just refer them to the school handbook where it says actions taken off
campus which result in harm to others and to the schools reputation."

Parents are not "punished" if the pledge is broken. But because of the
unique, legal contract between students, their families and a private
school, students who break the pledge -- even if they have not signed it --
will likely face disciplinary action by their schools.

Steve Mayfield, a veteran of 32 years in the Tulsa Public Schools and
principal of Thomas Edison Preparatory School, says these kinds of pledges
are probably easier to implement in private schools because of their
traditionally smaller student enrollments.

"Here at Edison," he says, "Ive got 1,710 kids in grades six through 12.
You can imagine just the paperwork, the amount of time involved in
something like that," Mayfield adds.

"Besides," he says, "I can't imagine why you would have to urge a parent to
use good judgment, to obey the law. Hopefully, they would have that in the
back of their mind," he says.

Nevertheless, he applauds any effort to curb teen drinking.

Bob Curington, senior specialist with the Safe and Drug Free Schools for
Tulsa Public Schools, says he is not aware of any Tulsa public school using
the pledge. He does recall the concept being tried about 10 to 15 years
ago, but he does not recall why it was discontinued.

Getting the parents of older students to "buy into such a program" may be
the most important factor, he says, even more so than enrollment size.

"Parent participation is still difficult, no matter where you are. The
older the kids, the less engaged parents are in the educational process. If
you look at participation of things like the PTA, it's very strong in the
elementary level, a little less at the middle school, and it continues to
drop as kids get older," says Curington.

Mike Means, principal of Jenks High School, says parents' signatures are
not required, but student athletes have been required for 10 years to sign
a pledge abstaining from alcohol, drugs and tobacco. Violation of the
pledge results in suspension from the extra-curricular activity.

"I'm not going to think that kids don't violate it, but I think it does
help the students who need a little bit of help. It gives them an excuse
not to try the drugs or alcohol, or tobacco products if they don't want to
get involved and feel the pressure," says Means.

Reed Bryant, a treatment counselor for adolescent alcohol and drug programs
at Laureate Psychiatric Clinic, says the young people he sees in Tulsa are
worse than when he started practicing 18 years ago.

"They are spinning out of control a lot faster. Theyre getting sicker
quicker. They're using drugs and alcohol at a younger age; they're using
more of the drug and in more lethal combinations. They drink at school,
they drink at church. They drink at QuikTrip," says Bryant.

Prescription drugs are popular now, says Bryant, because they're easier to
use and hide. Teens steal them from their parents and their friends parents.

"Theyre a lot more mobile. Theyre easier to transport. Unlike alcohol,
valium doesn't smell," says Bryant.

Megan Broughan, now 18, never did have that get-acquainted party. Kids at
school don't talk about the pledges, she says, but because of her mother's
efforts, she knows shes not the only teen who does not drink. "But I feel
more comfortable now," Megan says.

Meanwhile, Laura says her family trusts her to make informed decisions,
even if they are not always the right ones.

"And if I make a mistake," Laura says, "I am willing to suffer the
consequences. They feel comfortable in my decisions."