HE HOPES L.A.'S IMAGE WON'T GO UP IN SMOKE

Some of you may not be old enough to remember the classic "Easy Rider,"
starring Jack Nicholson, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper.

It was 1969, and until then, I thought I had been "Born to be Wild," as the
Steppenwolf song goes during the opening credits, but after the movie, I
realized I would have needed my parents' permission to take off like that.

Don't misunderstand, I was rebellious--I once had a friend with long hair.
He always seemed to be in a stupor, though, and while you have probably
guessed he went on to become an attorney, I knew what he was doing, but
made no judgment--other than the fact I'd certainly never ask him to defend me.

I talk to my attorney buddy now, and he wants to know what's wrong with
today's athlete, and because he lives in Chicago, he wants to know how the
old Bulls' coach is going to handle Isaiah "J.R." Rider.

Those are interesting questions, because not only is my attorney buddy
older, but so is Phil Jackson. It's too bad Jeanie doesn't have three wishes.

The problem with getting older, of course, is you become a little more
conservative, and maybe instead of writing about your time as a pot-smoking
hippie, as Jackson did in his book "Maverick" in 1975, you make the
transition, and find yourself being dressed in David Rickey custom-designed
suits by your girlfriend and having your hair styled by Billy Yamaguchi.

Now you look at Jackson, and the makeover suits him, but I don't know how
deep it runs. This isn't someone who is into small talk, you know, so as I
ponder the future of Rider and how Jackson might deal with him, I don't
have much to go on. He's been very tolerant so far--getting little in return.

In "Mind Games," an unauthorized biography of Jackson written by Roland
Lazenby, Dennis Rodman is quoted as saying in 1995, "You know Phil. He
likes to kick back and smoke a joint, drink a beer, chill out."

Call me crazy, even if Rodman knows what he's talking about, I don't think
we have to worry about Rider and Jackson sharing the same stash.

HOWEVER, THESE ARE ugly public image times. I mean the only athletes to
make drug headlines this week anywhere in the country, came from here.

It began with the suspensions of Lamar Odom and Rider--a Clipper and
Laker--with talk about possible marijuana use, followed by news of the
arrest of Spark forward Latasha Byears on a charge of driving under the
influence of marijuana, and a report former Spark coach Orlando Woolridge
will be arraigned March 29 for being under the influence of cocaine.

Is this some kind of Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce marketing plan to
remind everyone how laid-back this place is?

My concern from the beginning, of course, was second-hand smoke.

That's why I can't afford to go to Spark games. It's like those radiation
badges that workers wear to tell them how bad they're getting zapped--I
have to go to Laker games and an occasional Clipper contest, and Charles
Oakley told everyone recently 60% of all NBA players are on marijuana,
including some who play high. Now throw in the Sparks and I might inhale so
much trouble I might not be able to pass a test.

Now that I look back on it, the Clipper locker room always smelled funny. I
remember telling friends, "That's just what you expect from a joint like
that,"--never realizing how close I was to the truth. * * * THE GOOD NEWS
is our very own Easy Rider said he has never tested positive for marijuana.
He explained he was suspended because of a paperwork mix-up, which came as
great relief to most of us, but left my attorney buddy laughing: "I wonder
what he's been smoking?"

It's true, Rider can say anything he wants in regards to his suspension
because the NBA can say nothing in response. But he wouldn't do that.

Now we're hearing Rider must take three drug tests a month for the next
three months, but even if he fails a test, there's some thought he will
still be allowed to play as long as he remains in counseling. Good for the
Lakers.

If he fails a test, the Lakers will not be told, which would seem to
confirm that suspicion he will play on. I would imagine, though, someone
with experience like Jackson will know if he's high. Then we'll learn more
about Jackson and his current level of tolerance.

Jackson has made it clear he wants to hold on to Rider, in much the same
way a high school coach is willing to go the distance with a troubled
athlete--especially if that troubled athlete is a top-notch player.

"He brings something unique we don't have on this team," he said. I know
he brings a very clever excuse every time he's late, but for Jackson's
purposes, Easy Rider also brings a situational set of skills that might
make the difference in a quarter or half somewhere down the playoff road
for the Lakers. That's the game of risk-reward that Jackson is playing.

I just wonder if he remembers how "Easy Rider" ended.

IN ADDITION TO Rider, Odom, Byears and Woolridge, there was a report this week that
several 17th century clay pipes found on the site of William Shakespeare's
home may have been used to smoke marijuana.

I always wondered why I never understood a thing that guy wrote.

GARY SHEFFIELD SAYS he owes it to his fans to stay in L.A. Don't you like happy
endings?