FOR POTHEADS, A CUE FROM MY GOURD GARDEN

I think I know how they felt.

I can identify with those people of Kent County who had a bumper crop and
then had people come in and destroy those crops.

I know how they felt because over the last two summers I have become a
gardener at one of those public lots that are divided up for folks who
don't have space for a garden where they live. I know how you come to feel
pride and wonder about how your little seeds grow to produce such abundance.

My wife and I are probably proudest of our gourds coming from vines we have
watched over for the entire summer. All sizes and shapes have emerged and
over the winter they will be prepared to eventually become art projects
and, perhaps, even utilitarian devices like dippers.

We are also pretty proud of our broomcorn, which will also become something
either utilitarian or creative. The beets we planted for red dye also were
wonderful. But the point is that it is difficult to endure when someone
comes along and destroys your efforts. We lost some gourds to low-life
thieves and I know that others in the garden also suffered under the hands
of those who like to reap a harvest from someone's else's efforts.

Of course, the garden destroyers I was talking about in the beginning of
this column are the police. The gardens they are destroying are the bumper
crops of marijuana that have been found growing hither and yon over the
county. When finding these illegal gardens, the police come along and pull
them out by the roots which is certainly the proper thing to do under our laws.

But as a gardener I have to feel the pain of those nameless gardeners who
work has been destroyed.

Now you all know that I have no great love for drug dealers or even
recreational drug users, especially in these times when we need all of our
resources to fight the fanatics. Druggies and dealers, including potheads
and their sleazy dealers, are a constant drain on our community and our
nation. Having said that, I find that having a law against growing plants
seems a little odd on the face of it. After all, you can make illegal corn
whiskey out of corn but corn growing isn't illegal. Neither is barley as
far as I know. It is my understanding that hemp could be used for a lot of
things besides becoming a crutch for the unimaginative who have to be doped
up to exist. Potheads, in their literature of choice, like High Times, make
a big thing out of this fact that hemp can be utilitarian as they try to
legalize their drug of choice. They never fooled me for an instant. They
don't care about making better rope unless they can find a way to smoke it.

In spite of the pitiful pothead subterfuge, I see no reason that we should
not be able to develop those kinds of uses for marijuana, including any
medicinal applications that might exist.

I am not so naive that I don't understand that if there were lots of
marijuana plants growing hither and yon, people would take advantage of the
situation. They might even stoop to stealing, plus I am aware that there
will be people who sell it for illegal purposes. Apparently there will
always be criminals in a free society, which is too bad because criminals
make life a little more difficult for the rest of us -- not that they care
much about that. At the very least, the criminal tendencies of potheads are
keeping the rest of us from a lot of good, strong rope. If the growers of
marijuana in Kent County are feeling bad about their losses at the hands of
the police, then perhaps I can suggest gourds. Even with the thieves that
prey on us from time to time, there is still a better chance of reaping the
rewards of your efforts with gourds.