NO MATTER WHAT AGE, THERE'S A WAY TO APPROACH THE ISSUE

How do we know whether we've talked to our children enough about the
dangers of substance abuse? Experts recommend talking about this important
issue for at least a half-hour every month, working it into the everyday
fiber of your life. Here, from a variety of sources, is a look at what is
urged for different age groups.

Preschoolers

Preschool children are eager to know and memorize rules. It's a great time
to shape attitudes, habits and decision-making skills that will have a big
impact on their views of drug use when they're older.

Set aside regular times when you can give your child your full attention.
Get on the floor and play; learn his likes and dislikes; let him know you
love him. You'll build strong bonds of trust and affection that will make
turning away from drugs easier in the future.

Provide guidelines on behaviors like playing fair, sharing toys, and
telling the truth. Children need to know what kind of behavior you expect.

Whenever possible, let your child choose what to wear. Who cares if it
doesn't match? You are reinforcing your child's ability to make decisions.

Explain that prescription medications are drugs that can help the person
for whom they are intended, but that can harm anyone else. Talk to them
often about the specific people who may offer them medication (parents,
grandparents, doctor, etc.).

Ages 5-8

A child this age usually shows increasing interest in the world outside his
family and home. Now is the time to begin explaining what alcohol, tobacco
and drugs are, as well as their consequences.

Help your child understand the differences between foods, poisons,
medicines and illegal drugs.

Explain how drugs interfere with the way our bodies work and can make a
person very sick or even cause them to die. (Most children this age have
had experience with the death of a relative, or a relative of someone at
school).

Praise your children for taking good care of their bodies and avoiding
things that might hurt them.

Explain why adults may drink but children may not, even in small amounts:
It's harmful to children's developing brains and bodies.

Ages 9-11

Friends are extremely important during this time, as is fitting in or being
seen as "normal." It is essential that your child's anti-drug attitudes be
strong before entering middle school or junior high, where they're likely
to be exposed to alcohol, tobacco or drugs.

Use your child's curiosity about major traumatic events in people's lives
(car accident, divorce) to discuss how drugs can cause these events.

Show your child some long-term consequences -- how and why drugs can be
addicting and make users lose control of their lives.

Rehearse potential scenarios in which friends offer drugs. Have your
children practice delivering an emphatic, "That stuff is really bad for
you!" Give them permission to use you as an excuse: "My mom will ground me
forever if I drink a beer!"

Teach your children to be aware of how drugs and alcohol are promoted. Make
sure they're able to separate the myths of alcohol, tobacco and other drug
use from the realities, and praise them for thinking for themselves.

Get to know your children's friends, where they hang out, what they like to
do. Make friends with the parents of your children's friends, so you can
reinforce one other's efforts.

Ages 12-14

Adolescence is often a confusing and stressful time, characterized by mood
changes and deep insecurity. It's not surprising that drug use goes up
dramatically in the first year of middle school or junior high.

Understand that, no matter where you live, your children will be surrounded
by all manner of drugs from now on. Be familiar with the names of drugs,
methods of ingestion, paraphernalia, and slang terms -- and continue to
educate yourself, since these change constantly.

If possible, arrange to have your children looked after from 3 to 6 p.m.
Encourage them to get involved with youth groups, arts, music, sports,
community service or academic clubs. If they must be home unattended, make
sure they feel your presence (give them household chores to do, enforce a
strict phone-in-to-you policy, etc.)

Take advantage of how much young people care about social image and
appearance: Point out the immediate, distasteful consequences of tobacco
and marijuana use, such as bad breath, stained teeth, and bad-smelling
clothes and hair.

Monitor your children, even if they seem unreceptive to you while they
struggle to become independent. Don't take the situation at face value.
Teens are twice as likely to be using marijuana as parents believe they
are, and they're getting high in the places that parents think are safe
havens -- around school, at home, and at friends' houses.

Ages 15-17

Older teens have already had to make decisions many times about whether to
try drugs. By this age, they're savvy about drug use. They witness many of
their peers using drugs, some without obvious or immediate consequences.

Teens need to hear a parent's assertion that anyone can become a chronic
user or an addict and that even non-addicted use can have serious permanent
consequences.

Praise and encourage teens for all the things they do well and for the
positive choices they make. Knowing they are seen and appreciated by the
adults in their lives is highly motivating to teens and can shore up their
commitments to avoid drug use.

Because most high schoolers are future-oriented, discuss how drugs can ruin
chances of getting into a good college, being accepted by the military, or
being hired for certain jobs.

Help shoot down the notion that "everybody's doing it." Everybody's not. In
fact, four out of five high-school seniors -- the age group with the
highest marijuana use -- indicate they haven't used the drug in the last
month, according to the State of California Department of Alcohol and Drug
Programs.

Sources: State of California Department of Alcohol and Drug Programs
(www.adp.state.ca.us), People Reaching Out (www.peoplereachingout.org).