Column: Sex and Relationships

FESS UP WITH DOPE-SMOKERS

Dear Rhona: I'm only 13 and have recently discovered that my parents smoke
pot. My friends think I should confront them but if they knew that I knew,
it would kill them. I'm guessing the reason they smoke pot is because they
are stressed. It makes me mad because I'm a good kid and what right do
they have to complain about me when they smoke dope? I used to look up to
my parents but I feel like they've betrayed me. Please help me deal with this.

- -Crushed

Dear Crushed: Your parents have put you in a difficult position. They're
supposed to be the ones who worry about your habits. There's no use
pretending that you are ignorant of the fact, so have a conversation about
what you discovered. You could say: "I know you guys are stressed but I
don't understand why you are smoking dope." Understand, however, that
there is little you can do to change their habits. It's always crushing to
recognize the flaws in people you admire.

What you can learn from this is that your folks are fallible and don't
always make the best choices. I don't believe they are trying to betray
you, nor do I think this taints every bit of advice they give you. See
them as weak in some areas and cultivate better ways to deal with your own
anxiety. If you are lucky, the disclosure will motivate them to find
another way to diminish their stress. If they are otherwise pretty good
parents, appreciate their strengths.

Rhona Raskin can be heard Sunday to Thursday on 97-KISS FM. Send questions
to Rhona at askrhona@rhona.com