FORMER DRUG ADDICT TOLD STUDENTS OF EXPERIENCES

A recovered addict gave students at Eckville High School the
straight, hard facts about how drugs took her down a road that led to
self destruction, and finally, almost death.

Collette Ryostock's story, told at the high school, Thursday, was
laced with sadness, tragedy and hopelessness. It was a story that
began when she was a child, feeling alone, helpless and afraid.

Ryostock was nine years old and living in Lethbridge when she found
out she was adopted.

"I came home from school and my sister was crying because the
information on her birth certificate didn't correspond with what she
had been told and our parents told her she was adopted. And then they
told me I was adopted, too."

Looking back, Ryostock believes that's when her life began to change
for the worse.

"I think that's where it all began. I was quite devastated. Things
weren't so great at school, anyway. I had this fairy tale dream my
real mom would come and take me away. I wanted so badly to know who I
was. There were no answers, my parents didn't talk about it with us."

But, real life doesn't usually work out like fairytales and Ryostock
didn't meet her birth mother until she was 27. It wasn't at all like
she had imagined.

"I didn't like her and she didn't like me," she said.

When Ryostock was 12 years old, the trauma in her life escalated
again. On her way home from school she was severely bitten by a
German Shepherd dog. Her adoptive father, in a fit of anger, went
looking for the dog, but someone called the police who destroyed the
dog themselves.

From then on, life went from bad to worse for Ryostock.

"The dog belonged to one of the really popular kids and from that
time on I was bullied constantly. I hated going to school. I cried a
lot and life was really horrible."

Bullied, afraid and alone, life only got worse for Ryostock. When she
was 13 her adoptive parents decided they could no longer look after
her or her sister and the girls became wards of the government.

After being placed in Sifton House (a place that houses children
waiting for foster care or adoption) Ryostock became rebellious and
angry. She ran away every chance she could.

Her first experience at running away took her to the streets of
Vancouver. It was here she was first introduced to drugs.

My girlfriend and I ran into a black man on the streets who took us
home and shot us up with MDA (speed).

The RCMP finally caught up with the girls and Ryostock found herself
back in Lethbridge after a free plane ride on an RCMP plane. But she
continued to run away.

"I was always going AWOL," she said.

She was finally moved to the Youth Development Centre in Edmonton
where she began to dabble in drugs and sniff glue.

"We took anything we could get our hands on," she said.

While still underage, she ran away from the centre, moving to
Saskatoon where she worked in a bar using false identification.

"By then I was totally doing drugs, drinking and partying," she said.

When Ryostock turned 18 she moved back to Lethbridge and the next
year she gave birth to a baby boy.

"I always wanted a child, someone to belong to me, someone to love,"
she said. Six years after her son was born, she gave birth to a girl.

A single mom, Ryostock decided she wanted to make something of her
life, so she returned to school to take upgrading, finally attending
nursing school and graduating as an Registered Nurse with honours.

But she never completely quit using drugs.

"I was a functioning party animal. I just smoked pot. I could put it
away and go to school. I thought pot made me smarter. You can
convince yourself of anything."

As luck would have it, the year she graduated (1994), Alberta was
going through nursing cutbacks and there were no jobs. Ryostock began
to rely more heavily on drugs, and when cocaine showed up at a party
she was at, she tried it.

"I instantly wanted more. Every pay day that came around I would
spend almost my whole cheque on cocaine.

But it wasn't until the night that both Ryostock's children were in
intensive care, her daughter because of a serious illness, and her
son because of a motorcycle accident, that cocaine became her life.

"It took away the pain. I started using it and selling it and I never
looked back."

One night, holed up in a hotel room, shooting cocaine, she overdosed
and she thought she was going to die. Ironically, the time was 4:44
a.m. the exact same time as her daughter had been born eight years before.

"I told myself I can't die, I can't die," she said. "This is when my
daughter was born. I can't die now. I tried to focus on breathing."

Ryostock didn't die, but in only nine days she was back to using
cocaine, succumbing to a habit that was destroying her life.

After that it seemed she stopped at nothing to get the drug.

She did not quit even when her daughter was hauled out of the shower
and handcuffed naked in the bathroom after a SWAT team broke into her
mother's house looking for drugs.

She kept right on using after being beaten black and blue by masked
men with baseball bats who wanted the drugs she was selling but
didn't have any money.

Looking back, she believes the beating was a blessing because after
that she became too afraid to be a dealer.

"I was very distrustful of anybody. I would no longer sell it. I
ended up selling my home and living on the street."

Finally, during Easter of 2005, homeless, weighing a mere 88 pounds
and her arm covered with needle marks, Ryostock called her daughter
and asked her to take her to a detox centre.

"I always had an image of a drug addict and that's what I had
become," she said. "I was a homeless, dirty, needle pushing junkie."

She entered Foothills Detox Centre at Fort Mcleod on March 26, 2005
and spend 30 days there.

"The people gave me so much love, support and encouragement. I
started liking being clean. I would say they were my guardian angels.
They believed in me when I didn't believe in myself."

The road to recovery was not easy.

"In the beginning the craving was constant. It was the love of my
kids that kept me going. Finally, I learned that I had to face all
those things that had gone on in my life. All the resentment, fears
and problems. I had to face them and let them go. Cocaine took away
the pain, but when you come off of it, the pain is still there, even more."

After 30 days at the centre she went to David Lander Centre in
Claresholm where she learned that her drug addiction was just a symptom.

"The real problem lay with me," she said.

After treatment, Ryostock moved back to Lethbridge where she began
attending AADAC meetings regularly, as well as numerous 12 step programs.

"I had to get healthy first before I gained employment. I had to work
through a lot of things."

Now, 46-years-old, Ryostock is healthy and happy. And she's grateful
for the simple things.

"I'm grateful to put my pajamas on and go to bed each night. And I'm
grateful that I wake up clean. Sometimes I have to pinch myself."

She now works at the Salvation Army, lives with her 20 year old
daughter, Carly, and tries to help others stay away from drugs.

She has spoken at many schools and also speaks to students who come
to the Lethbridge Regional Hospital P.A.R.T.Y (prevention of alcohol
and risk related trauma) program.

She said she found it embarrassing to tell her story at the beginning.

"But if you can just save one person, it's worth it."

When she's not working or speaking out against drug use, she enjoys
being a mother to her adult children and a grandmother to four-year-old Cyrus.

"I can be a grandma now. I couldn't be a grandma before because I was
in a world of my own. I couldn't help it. I needed my drugs."