ON THE TRAIL OF MISSING MARIJUANA

Good morning, and welcome to America's highest -- not highest-rated, just
highest -- TV game show: "Whose Dope Is It Anyway?"

That's not really a TV show, but it is one of the questions the feds and
Chatham County residents have been trying to answer since 5,000 pounds of
marijuana went "POOF" in 2000. They want to know not only to whom the
confiscated weed belonged, but also where it went. You might recall that
some of it disappeared from a truck behind the sheriff's office and a ton
- -- yes, a ton -- of it was removed from the landfill where sheriff's
deputies are said to have buried it allegedly so drug dealers couldn't get
their filthy hands on it.

Don't look so skeptical. It makes perfect sense -- or it would after a few
tokes of some really good stuff -- to bury 2,000 pounds of dope
(approximate street value, $2 million) 4 feet deep in an unguarded county
landfill. "There, that'll keep it away from our kids, and no one will ever
think to look in here," they probably said while tossing the last shovelful
of dirt onto it.

Chatham County residents, after learning of such highly sophisticated drug
interdiction efforts, must be wondering, "Who's in charge here: Cheech and
Chong?"

The dope missing from the truck and the landfill has already influenced the
political landscape in Chatham County: When Sheriff Ike Gray announced that
he was running for election to the office -- he was appointed in December
2000 to succeed an ailing Donald Whitt -- he was accompanied, not in
time-tested political fashion by his adoring wife, kids and dog, but by his
attorney. The attorney was there to answer questions about the missing pot
and about a lawsuit filed by a former deputy.

Gray was chief deputy when the drugs disappeared, and he is being sued by
Dan Phillips, who said he was fired by Gray for -- among other things --
blowing the whistle about the missing pot.

Proving that he can follow orders, Gray refused to answer any questions
about how the ganja got gone. His only response on the subject was, "The
FBI is still doing an ongoing investigation. They anticipate some closure
in the near future."

Gray is being challenged by county Commissioner Rick Givens and is
apparently hoping Chatham County voters have short memories, will forget
about the cannabis reported missing on his watch and keep him in office.
Givens could face an uphill battle, especially if Gray tells voters, "I've
already shown I can make dope -- er, I mean the dope problem -- disappear."

After all this time, the trail has definitely grown cold, and the smoke has
cleared. No one but an expert criminologist would know what to look for in
tracking down the purloined pot. That's why I drove down yesterday to lend
my expertise to solving this caper.

Since my trained nose couldn't pick up the pungent scent I sought, I
decided to follow the only promising lead I found -- a trail of empty
Doritos bags, Snickers wrappers and Ho-Ho packs: I figured that whoever
stole 5,000 pounds of pot must've had an awesome case of the munchies
afterwards.

Alas, the trail of litter led me to where the pot -- and the litter --
should've been: the county landfill.

Want to tell Barry what you think happened to the dope? Call him at
836-2811 or send e-mail to him at barrys@newsobserver.com.