HOME KEEPS FAMILIES UNITED WHILE MOM ADDICTS GET HELP

Sitting around a conference table, three girls giggle like normal
pre-teens. But their appearances can be misleading. They've seen their
share of struggle, pain and heartache.

Until recently, their mothers were drug addicts.

Now, all three have their mothers and their siblings together again in the
residential treatment program in Baton Rouge called Reality House. The
Louisiana Health & Rehabilitation Center Reality House in Midcity opened in
1995 and allows families to live together while mothers work to rid their
lives of drugs and alcohol.

Although the mothers have to learn -- or relearn -- what it means to live
as sober adults and parents, the children get help as well through
individual and group counseling, said Shanta Barnes, program director at
Reality House.

Counseling offered by Reality House and Louisiana Health and Rehabilitation
Center include family therapy, job skill training, parenting skills,
substance abuse treatment, support group meetings and individual therapy
sessions.

When a parent uses drugs or alcohol, many times the older children try to
take on the responsibility of not only looking after the other siblings but
trying to take care of the mother as well.

"They have to learn to be children over again," Barnes said.

Some children who can't take that pressure of growing up so fast develop
problems with acting out for attention, she said.

They want to make everything perfect, Barnes said. When they can't, she
said, they feel responsible for their parent's drug or alcohol use.

"We want the children to understand it's not their fault," Barnes said. "It
helps them understand the family breakdown didn't start with them."

That's been a valuable lesson for at least two of the children living in
the home.

"I thought it was my fault because I wasn't a good daughter," Totiana, 12,
said.

"She used to make promises that she'd keep off drugs," Totiana said. "I
used to tell her every day not to use drugs, and she'd stop for awhile and
then start again."

Lauren, 12, agreed that she would cry because she thought her mother's drug
use was her fault, even though her aunt told her it wasn't.

Destiny, 11, said she knew it wasn't her fault.

The three girls said they were embarrassed by their mothers' drug use. They
knew when their mothers were using because they would get quiet and withdrawn.

"My mama was getting real thin. She was able to get into me and my sister's
clothes," Lauren said. All the girls agreed and then laughed about how
"fat" their moms had gotten since they've been sober.

"I don't see her biting her nails, her hair started growing and she's got
lots of friends now," Destiny said.

Reality House is the only treatment center of its kind in the seven-parish
Baton Rouge area made up of East and West Baton Rouge, Livingston,
Ascension, Pointe Coupee, West Feliciana and Iberville Parishes.

Eight beds are funded through a direct $205,480 contract with Capital Area
Human Services District. An additional 29 beds are funded by the federal
Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program contract through Capital
Area Human Services for $472,890. The funding helps provide for 12 staff
members, counseling, job training and other help for the up to 12 women and
25 children who can stay at the home.

Even with all they've been through, the girls agreed they knew their
mothers loved them even if they were unable to show it. The best thing
about Reality House, they said, is they get to live with their moms.

While parents are on drugs, many times the children are left to their own
devices, sent to foster care or kept by relatives, Barnes said.

"I didn't like that. I wanted to be with my mama," Totiana said.

Separation anxiety is a big issue for the children when they go to Reality
House, Barnes said. Many are afraid if they leave for school or their mom
leaves for treatment, they won't see each other again. However, after time
at Reality House, the girls agreed that they've seen significant changes in
their mothers.

"She don't go to jail no more. She's not smoking no more, and she's not
running with men who are doing drugs no more," Destiny said.

Most of the mothers who go to Reality House are single, Barnes said.

"There's not a lot of father participation," Barnes said. Some women don't
know who the dads are because the children were conceived during the
mother's drug use, she said.

Women typically stay in the program for six months, which might seem like a
long time, Barnes said, until one looks at what the women are overcoming.

"It takes about three months for these women to understand and get a clear
picture of what's happening with them," Barnes said. "They're still detoxing."

When a woman leaves the program, staff already has worked with her to find
a suitable living situation, and many families move into transitional
housing run through Volunteers of America of Greater Baton Rouge.

"Everyone leaves there with a place to go of their own," said Soundra
Temple, executive director of the Reality House.

Since 1995, the Reality House has provided services to 114 families, of
which 50 have completed the program, Barnes said. Until recently, long-term
follow-up of the women was done informally, but that's about to change,
Barnes said.

The Reality House recently hired a service plan coordinator who will begin
keeping up with former residents and their progress for at least 18 months
after they leave.

When asked what they would like to see as the future of the family after
Reality House, all three young women had the same answer.

"I want to see my mom off drugs, have a job, a car, all that good stuff,"
Totiana said. "And be happy."

Do they ever think about the hard times when their mothers were using drugs?

"I want to think about right now -- when my mama is getting help," Destiny
said.

"I don't want to think about it," Lauren said. "I asked my mama that if she
got a wish and could go back to any year, when would it be, and she said
right now."