PRIMER FOR PARENTS

It's Time To Get To The Substance Of The Matter: Drugs, Your Kids And Peace
Of Mind

Houston kids are exposed to drugs.

Not some kids. All of them.

In a May 2001 survey by the Texas Commission on Alcohol and Drug Abuse, 75
percent of the 127,380 seventh-to 12th-grade students questioned reported
having used an illicit substance. Even among children as young as fourth
through sixth grades, 33 percent reported using some illicit substance.

Even if you exclude alcohol and cigarettes from the list, 34 percent of
seventh to 12th graders said they had used an illicit drug.

Of those older students, 33 percent had used marijuana, 19 percent
inhalants and 8 percent cocaine. In smaller but still substantial numbers,
students had used: uppers (stimulants such as amphetamines, speed and
prescription Ritalin), 7 percent; downers (sleeping pills, barbiturates,
sedatives and tranquilizers) 6 percent; hallucinogens (LSD, PCP, peyote and
mushrooms), 6 percent; Ecstasy, 5 percent; Rohypnol, 3 percent; steroids, 2
percent; crack cocaine, 2 percent; and heroin, 2 percent.

With three of four kids trying an illicit drug, it's almost impossible for
any child to avoid exposure.

"Probably next to sex -- dating, boyfriends, girlfriends, who looks good --
the use of drugs is the most frequently discussed thing among kids," says
Mel Taylor, president of the Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston.

In 2000, 6.5 percent of Texas students in grades 7-12 sought professional
help for substance-abuse problems, with the highest rates reported in
grades 7-9.

The daily news carries stories of kids, some in elementary school, being
caught using illegal drugs, even overdosing.

And yet, amazingly, a consistent aspect of the drug problem, in Houston and
around the nation, is parental confidence that their kids aren't affected.

That very confidence can be a danger to kids. Keeping young people off
drugs requires parents to take a proactive -- with emphasis on "active" --
approach to their children's relationships, attitudes and access to drugs.

What can a parent do? Probably a lot more than you think. And it begins
with knowing you need to do something.

"The No. 1 issue I see with most parents (of kids on drugs) is the complete
shock they are in about their kids' use," says Taylor. "And a tendency to
want to minimize that use."

Earl Littman, who takes the Drugs Kill campaign to schools throughout
Southeast Texas, puts it more bluntly:

"Parents are clueless wonders and feel it is just a stage their kids are
going through. That they'll outlive it. Those living with the drug problem
(in their kids) are basically in denial."

Most moms and dads would do anything to protect their kids from any danger.
But too often caring parents turn a blind eye to drugs, one of the worst
and most common threats children face.

"With as much as is in the media, on TV and in music, it's hard to imagine
in this day and age that parents don't know how much their kids are exposed
to drug use as though it were normal," says Ann Clark, manager of Safe and
Drug Free Schools for the Houston Independent School District.

The problem crosses economic, racial, sexual and geographic barriers.

"There's really no school I can think of that won't have drugs in them,"
says "John," a 17-year-old St. Thomas High School student who now
volunteers at a drug-abuse-prevention agency.

Most parents realize drugs are a problem, but many believe it will be other
kids, not theirs, who fall victim to it.

Says Clark, "Most parents say, `Not my child.' "

Too often those are the famous last words of parents just before their kid
turns up stoned, is sent home from school or is arrested.

Parents should know they are the first line of defense, not the last, when
it comes to preventing drug abuse in their children.

"Research has shown that the parent is the No. 1 protective factor," says
Stacy Walker, program manager at the Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston.

"If a kid knows in their home that `This is my support system and we have a
no-use message here,' they are much less likely to use than if they just
get information at school."

A recent study of sixth-to eighth-grade students by Baylor College of
Medicine researchers found that families have a strong influence over a
teen's decisions about drinking and that home problems are associated with
increased teen use of alcohol.

The street-smart truth is that even if parents do all the right things,
there comes a time when a young person is out there, on his or her own,
making his or her own decisions. Sometimes young people are just going to
make the wrong choices.

Get out of denial To help protect a child from drugs, a parent must first
accept that the child is threatened. Then comes the hard part: deciding to
take action.

"There is a lot of apprehension in parenting now," says Walker. "Parents
are scared to get `in my child's business.'

"Parents have to understand: `Your child is your business. Their business
is your business.' "

Littman, who talks to thousands of kids about drugs each year, says there
is no question children desire help.

"They really want a parental influence and somebody to guide them, counsel
them and advise them. They may not act that way, but they're desperate to
have some mentoring influence. And they would hope that it came from a
strong parent. ...

"It's not pestering; it's parenting."

There are many ways parents can help children win their private war on
drugs. Some of the most important:

Talk about your expectations in clear, precise terms.

Check up on your kids.

Know how to spot drugs, drug behavior, drug slang and drug paraphernalia.

Recognize that alcohol and tobacco, which are illegal drugs for minors, are
"gateway" drugs for other substance use. They are highly addictive and are
especially dangerous for the still-forming bodies and brains of children.

Provide close family relationships based on clear and positive values.

If there's a problem, seek professional counseling early.

Talk about expectations Some parents believe their children simply know
what is expected of them. They do not, Taylor says.

"Time and again after they are busted, kids say, `I wish my mom and dad had
been more involved with me' or `I wish they had just told me what the
limits were'. "

Kids want real guidelines.

"The most important thing parents can do is talk to their children," says
Clark. "Communicate clearly their expectations: `We expect you not to
smoke, not to drink, not to use illegal drugs.' Then say, `Here are the
consequences if we find you using them.' And then enforce the consequences.
The very first time. That is the deterrent."

With drugs, as with sex, what the child doesn't learn at home he or she
will pick up elsewhere -- often from people who are confused or who do not
have the child's best interests at heart.

A simple "Watch out for drugs" or "Don't smoke grass" said once or twice is
not enough.

One recognized approach to setting guidelines for kids is a contract.

"A contract is a great way to set up a structure and clear, nonambiguous
expectations between parents and kids," Taylor says.

The contract should be in writing, for easy referral and to help eliminate
misunderstandings and ambiguities.

It should outline the parents' expectations and desires. But it should also
be a joint project, taking into consideration the child's input and
expectations.

Wording should clearly specify consequences, to be enforced every time. It
can also spell out rewards.

"This creates a reward-consequence relationship," Taylor says. "It helps
the kids commit to being accountable, because they are a participant in
helping set up the contract.

"And it helps define consequences. So if the child says `I'll do' one thing
and doesn't follow through, they are learning consequences which later
apply to everything -- jobs, lifestyle, commitments, etc."

Need help? Examples of family drug contracts can be found on many Internet
sites, including www.teenswithproblems.com/home_contract.html and
www.pta.org/parentinvolvement/drugalcohol/index.asp. But design your own,
with details to fit your situation.

Check up "It is not spying when you are trying to save your child's life,"
Littman says. "You're trying to save their brain from being damaged or
their body from being ruined."

Parents often tell Taylor they feel they shouldn't check up on their kids.

"But what I hear from the kids later is, `Thank God she did. It kept me
accountable and was a way to offset the peer pressure to use.' "

Not checking up assumes children are mature enough to handle themselves in
situations that would be difficult for many adults. Checking is an act of love.

"I know parents who make a point of hugging and kissing their children when
they get home," Taylor says, "to smell what's on their breath or on their
clothes. They love them, they care, but that kiss or hug is to see where
they've been and what they've been doing."

Another questionable parental assumption is a child's right to privacy.
Parenting is not democracy. You don't need a search warrant to look in
their stuff.

Checkup suggestions from drug counselors include:

Know the names and phone numbers of your child's friends and their parents,
as well as their attitudes toward teen drinking and drugs.

"Kids are very good at identifying which parents don't care if they drink
in the back yard," Taylor says.

Know where your child is going, and have him call when he gets there (not
from a cell phone). Call other parents to confirm plans.

Host parties in your home. Stay out of the way, but let it be obvious you
are there.

Make unsafe places, such as rave parties, off-limits.

Enforce rules with real consequences. Punishment must be something that
matters.

Spot drug behavior Sherlock Holmes was fond of telling Dr. Watson that
people saw the same things he did, but they did not observe what they were
seeing. Know the signs of drugs, and observe what kids are doing.

Littman was in a grocery-store line recently when a teen-ager ahead of him
pulled out change -- and a pacifier. Littman asked an adult behind him
whether he knew what that meant, and the man shook his head.

"Why would a teen-age boy be carrying a baby pacifier?" Littman asked him.
"The kid is on drugs. He's taking Ecstasy."

Kids using drugs will show signs to an alert observer, though they may not
be as obvious as straws for snorting cocaine, cigarette papers used with
marijuana, or a pacifier or lollipop used because Ecstasy causes grinding
of the teeth.

Warning signs of alcohol or drug use include:

Extreme mood changes, including anger, defensiveness and nervousness.

"It's hard to spot sometimes," says John, the St. Thomas student. "But you
can predict by their actions. One day they'll be normal, and the next
they'll be like, `Hey, what's up?' "

New school problems: disciplinary infractions, bad grades, cutting class.

Rebellion against previously accepted family rules.

Sudden switching of friends and secretiveness about new friends.

Lethargy, lack of interest, sloppiness.

New mental and physical problems, such as a lack of coordination and memory
lapses.

Alienation and secretive behavior.

Discerning these things can be tough because kids normally go through
phases like many of these.

"Usually, if their parents ask (why they seem tired or out of sorts),
they'll just say: `I had a really long night. We were up playing video
games,' " John says.

But an observant parent can often tell the difference between normal and
drug-related behavior.

More obvious signs, of course, are the actual drugs and drug paraphernalia.

Everyone recognizes alcohol and tobacco, and many people recognize
marijuana by sight or smell. But drugs come in an endless array of forms,
from common household solvents to innocent-looking pills to
chocolate-covered mushrooms.

"If you see kids with candy necklaces, candy bracelets, it's usually X
(Ecstasy)," says Walker.

But many drugs, even prescription pills, may come in several forms and colors.

Materials available at the Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston (888
PRC-TEXX) (888-772-8399) can show you what they look like.

Or check a Web site about drugs, such as
www.drugs.indiana.edu/prevention/iprcpics.html or
www.ohsinc.com/photos_drug_photos_pictures_drug_paraphernalia_drug_lab_photos.htm.

Paraphernalia can also look innocent. The clearest indicator that it is
being used for drug purposes is often that it's something a kid would not
normally have a use for.

Alcohol and tobacco "Add up all the illicit drug use, and it doesn't equal
the use of alcohol among kids," says Taylor. "Alcohol and tobacco are what
we refer to as gateway drugs. Alcohol is as easy as your parents'
refrigerator or bar. That's where most kids start or get exposed."

"Alcohol, tobacco, marijuana and inhalants are considered gateway drugs
because they are the drugs used earliest by children," Clark says.

"If they use any of those and don't have a consequence (get in trouble),
they are more likely to go on and try new things."

Aside from leading to an attitude that welcomes trying other drugs, alcohol
and tobacco are dangerous experiments in themselves, often leading to
addiction, life-threatening illness and social problems.

In addition, a teen-ager's body and brain are still forming and are more
likely to be damaged by drinking than an adult's.

Family relationships Preparing a child to resist drugs and be ready for the
rest of life's challenges is a full-time job. Strong relationships and
clear values that are introduced in infancy and carried through childhood
can pay off later.

"As much as a child pushes and says, `I want my space,' they want
boundaries," says Walker, who gets calls from worried parents every day.
"It's your responsibility to give it. With boundaries and support, they
just don't have a need to use."

Spend as much time as possible with your children, understanding and
sharing each other's interests. Taylor says drug problems tend to be more
severe when parents and kids don't share much common time.

Seek professional help If you suspect your child has a problem, don't wait.
The sooner you seek professional help, the more quickly and effectively a
solution can be found. Your quick action may prevent an embarrassing and
painful problem from becoming a tragic one.

Help is available through your child's school, some churches and many
health-care facilities.

Keep These Numbers Handy

Looking for information on children and drug
abuse? Here are some useful numbers:

HISD's Safe and Drug Free Schools program: 713-892-6690. Individual
schools also have programs and information.

Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston: 713-942-4100. For information on
specific drugs, Ext. 104. www.council-houston.org

Street Drugs, a 56-page, full-color drug identification and
information resource used by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration
and other agencies, is available for $5.95 at www.streetdrugs.org

If you know someone is selling or giving your child drugs, call Debbie
Lee, Houston Police Narcotics, 713-247-5283.

If you suspect a drug house in your neighborhood, call the Houston
Police Department, 713-308-3496. For information on recognizing drug
locations, go to www.ci.houston.tx.us/departme/police/stash_house.htm

The Drugs

Ecstasy, the most prominent "club" drug, is usually in a capsule or a
colorful tablet stamped with logos and designs. Easily hidden in vitamin
bottles and gum boxes, the pills sometimes are strung and worn as a
necklace or bracelet.

Effect: Positive feelings, suppression of appetite and sleep. Dangers range
from panic attacks and rapid heartbeat to kidney failure, blurred vision
and dehydration.

Aka: X, XTC, hug drug, love drug, E, Essence, Adam.

Paraphernalia: baby pacifiers, to offset grinding of teeth; vapor rub stick
to enhance effect; bottled water, because X raises body temperature to
dangerous levels; nose and mouth mask for inhalants, which enhance effect;
lightsticks, to enhance effects.

GHB (gamma-hydroxybutyrate) is a "club" drug often called the "date rape"
drug. It is usually a clear or colored liquid, almost tasteless and
odorless, that can be easily mixed, obviously inexactly, into a date's
drink to produce an unconscious state. It also can be in powder form.

Effect: depresses central nervous system, creating euphoria in small
amounts but unconsciousness and loss of memory, sometimes requiring
hospitalization, in larger doses; drowsiness; nausea; and visual distortion.

Aka: G, Liquid X, Fantasy.

Inhalants are found in a wide variety of household products, including
paint thinner, white out liquid, glue, nail-polish remover, gasoline,
hairspray and lighter fluid.

Effects: slowing of body functions, stimulation, loss of inhibitions and
loss of consciousness.

Aka: glue sniffing (used broadly to cover other inhalants as well), huffing
(inhalant-soaked rag in the mouth), bagging (breathing fumes of a product
dropped in a paper sack), snorting and sniffing.

Paraphernalia: rags, spray cans, balloons and glue.

Ketamine is an anesthetic sold mainly for veterinary use, a chemical cousin
to PCP. It is usually a clear liquid, sometimes a white powder. Effect:
hallucinations and a dreamlike state, affecting judgment and coordination
long past the desired sensation. Also delirium, amnesia, high blood
pressure, depression and serious respiratory problems.

Aka: K, Special K, Kit Kat, Vitamin K.

LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) comes in liquid or crystal form and is
commonly sold in thin, tiny squares of gelatin or on small bits of blotter
paper, sometimes with designs and colors. It also can be in tablets and
sugar cubes. Effect: classic "high" of hallucinations, disorientation,
distorted perception, loss of or increased appetite, severe mood fluctuations.

Aka: acid, window pane, microdot, cube, blotter acid.

Rohypnol is legally prescribed in many countries, including Mexico, as a
sleep aid. This "date rape" drug is a white prescription pill, single or
cross-scored, with ROCHE and the circled number 1 or 2 imprinted on it.

Effect: a doped state, memory loss in high doses, confusion and drowsiness.

Aka: R2, roach, rope, roofies.
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OxyContin (oxycodone) is a prescription drug often used illegally. It
usually comes in round, color-coded tablets numbered according to strength,
with "OC" on one side. It also can be in liquid and capsule form.

Effect: muscle relaxation; lowered heart rate, respiratory rate and blood
pressure; allergic reactions; breathing problems; small pupils; seizures;
loss of consciousness; coma.

Aka: Oxy, OC, Killer.

Syrup

Houston is "ground zero" for a spreading epidemic of "syrup" --
prescription-strength cough syrup with codeine, a natural narcotic made
from morphine. It's also in pill and capsule form and in some prescription
pain relievers.

Effect: Codeine is a sedative that produces a euphoric sensation and mellow
feelings of drowsiness and, as it builds up in the body, drunkenness,
confusion and a "spaced-out" sensation.
Aka: syrup, down, drank, nod, lean.

Paraphernalia: prescription cough bottles, needles and syringes (it's
sometimes injected).