FORMER MARIJUANA USER, RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC TELLS WHY SHE FINALLY QUIT

Sue, 48, a former longtime Fond du Lac resident and recovering alcoholic,
discusses her addictions. She's newly married with three stepchildren and
self-employed with her own printing business.

Q: As a former user and recovered alcoholic, what's your take on the whole
marijuana debate?

A: I don't have a lot to comment about it, other than the fact that since
I've have been clean from it for the past almost five years, it's become
apparent to me, in hindsight, that my usage was nothing but a substitute
for alcohol, after coming through a recovery program with that. Therefore,
I enjoyed it and it probably "filled a gap" for me after (finishing the
addiction institute) and getting on the road to soberness from alcohol.

I always did enjoy the high from marijuana, much more than any high from
alcohol -- but that has to be put in perspective because I never considered
alcohol as something to get a "buzz" from -- I drank (at least the last
eight years of my alcoholism) to kill emotional pain and to help me get
through incredible anxiety I faced daily living with (her former husband's)
alcoholism, unemployment, a marriage drenched in drinking, fights and
violence and the anxiety of living day-to-day wondering how we were going
to pay bills. But, that never stopped me from knowing I was going to need
$5 to $10 to buy a bottle every day -- it's a sick disease.

Q: What did you get from pot?

A: I got a high that relaxed me in a comfortable way. It mellowed me,
enhanced sensations like listening to music, opened up my emotions by
writing when I was alone, and generally made me feel good.

Don't get me wrong, though. Personally, it did have its sensation of
paranoia that came with it -- especially being around people (strangers)
because I knew my eyes appeared glassy and I always assumed people would
know I was high. Therefore, it was always a "closet" drug. In other words,
you do it in the privacy of your home when you know you'll be alone or only
with other people who are enjoying its usage with you.

Q: Why did you quit?

A: The very last time I smoked it was the night I had an incredible
reaction to it (and wound up at a friend's house) when my heart was racing
and I felt like I was having a heart attack. That scared the (expletive
deleted) out of me -- enough to quit. Haven't touched it since. Bad batch,
I figure -- but it was enough to make me take a good hard look at what
could happen with anything stronger than that, and therefore it was time to
hang up the stuff. Having quit alcohol before that, it wasn't hard to do --
besides the fact that getting the stuff was never easy.