CRYSTAL METH: RULES SHOW THAT YOU CARE

Barbara Hansen is the mother of Nicole Hansen, a 19-year-old former
drug user. Barbara, along with her husband, Barry, has worked hard to
help Nicole get through this difficult and troubling time. It hasn't
been easy. To help other parents, Barbara recently compiled the
following advice aimed at parents and caregivers of teenage drug users
and teens in recovery.

NINE TIPS FROM ONE PARENT TO ANOTHER

Frantic parents frequently ask me what they should look for (or, in
some cases, what they could have looked for). There are no easy ways
to "save" your children from the dangers of drugs. And it's not always
easy to detect drug use -- the signs of drug use is often more
difficult to detect than alcohol use. I encourage all parents to
educate themselves about drugs. In addition, I've put together a list
of nine things you can do to.

1. LOVE THEM

This may sound simplistic, but it is essential - and more helpful to
your kids than you realize. Through loving them (and I really mean
LOVING them), you will need to exercise more patience than you've ever
known in your life. The most damaging experiences for any family
member is in believing they are not loved. Each person has his or her
own trials to bear and perhaps they will not ever be able to entirely
overcome them, but they must know they are loved unconditionally and
that you are there for them.

2. LISTEN TO THEM

Sit quietly with your child and let him or her talk. Keep your eyes
and ears open. Ask daily how your child is doing; ask if he or she has
been using drugs (or if they've quit using ask if they've had any
"slip ups" and if you need to help them get professional help.) My
husband and I tried not to raise our voices and would suffer quietly
in our own hearts knowing what our daughter was going through during
the six months she was abusing drugs. I suggest to parents to open
your hearts AND your ears without being judgmental. It's the one
aspect of the relationship between a parent and a child that cannot
fail.

3. UNDERSTAND THEM

Know how your kid ticks. Realize that your child's strength's can
sometimes be their weaknesses. Nicole's strong points were definitely
a double-edge sword. Her independence, loyalty, adventurousness, and
trust and love for others also made her latch onto the drug scene and
fall fast for the (false) friendships. It is the family's
responsibility and duty to help guide children to use their strengths
toward the right direction in their lives.

4, KEEP COOL - AND REMIND THEM

If you find out that your child is using drugs or is around users, do
not lose your temper (even though you may want to). They need your
patience now and mostly your love. Understand they are going through
difficult times. Your child, like every child, desperately wants to
feel included by his or her peers. And they often think the drug scene
offers acceptance, fun, adventure, and true friendships. Which, of
course, is a lie. Continue to let your child know that using drugs is
wrong and damaging to them.

5, SET RULES

This includes setting and enforcing curfews. Be sure to insist that
your child calls you at certain times to check in. Know your child's
friends and whom they'll be with and where they are going. I also
suggest limiting or eliminating sleepovers past age 12. From our
experience this was how many young drug users began
experimenting.

6, KNOW WHAT THEY'RE UP TO

Make sure you are not so busy that you're unaware of what your child
is doing. Set up a network with your neighbors and the parents of your
child's friends. Check in with each other on what they are "supposed"
to be doing at each other's homes. If no one is at your house during
the day, I suggest leaving your work number with a neighbor who can
keep an eye on the neighborhood. Many kids leave school to do drugs in
parents' homes that are at work. If a neighbor sees kids around your
home, you may want them to contact you at work so you can further
investigate.

7, BE WARY OF PARTIES

A lot of people use drugs at clubs and parties, however, not all kids
who go to clubs and parties are users. But it is likely. If you notice
that your child is receiving unmarked mail -- be suspicious. Many
organizers send out flyers. If you see flyers promoting dances and
concerts and advertising "No drugs," "No drinking," and "PLUR" (peace,
love, unity, respect) - realize that these mailings are from party
promoters who are very aware of parents' skepticism and are often
blatantly lying.

8, GET SMART

Do all you can to learn everything about the drug scene so that you
can educate your kid correctly on the dangers of drugs. They will
respect you for caring that much that you took the time to find out
about today's drugs and how harmful they are. Sometimes you will just
need to ride out the problem and continue to try to be there for your
child. But remain firm and remind them of the harmfulness of doing
drugs. If measures need to be more drastic, contact a counseling
center and drug rehab to find out your options.

9, GET HELP

If necessary, get help for your child -- but get help for yourself,
too. You may need it for your own strength. Go to your family, church
or support network. And, if need be, get professional help for the
rest of your family. Don't allow embarrassment or scrutiny from
neighbors to stop you from doing everything necessary to get your
family back on a healthy course.