LIBERAL DANCERS SHOWCASE POT-LAW PALSY

Add the Flin Flon Flapdoodle to the list of bizarre and exotic dance
routines snaking around the marijuana debate.

The palsied effort is named for the town in Manitoba where $5.7-million
worth of pot is being cultivated in a deep mineshaft for Ottawa's medicinal
marijuana trials.

You won't find the Flapdoodle on the roster at Arthur Murray's. For lessons
one must turn to Anne McLellan and Martin Cauchon, the funkiest flapsters
in cabinet.

Cauchon unveiled the routine last month when admitting "of course" he had
smoked pot as a youth. The revelation came as he mused about reforming
Canada's ludicrous laws governing marijuana.

A few weeks ago the justice minister spun 'round the floor again, telling
the Canadian Bar Association it may be time for a total review of Canada's
creaking justice system.

"For example, as a society we must question our motivation when we devote
so many of our precious legal resources to the prosecution of cannabis
offences. Do these prosecutions improve the safety of our commmunities?"

Cauchon called for "open discussion" and said he's awaiting reports from
House and Senate committees this fall on the matter. Then "we'll see
afterwards."

Eminently reasonable. Also too good to be true.

Cauchon began to shimmy in that Flapdoodle way and the Liberals' true
agenda was revealed.

"Canada has no plans to legalize marijuana. I believe endorsing marijuana
use might inflict harm on society and lead to greater problems."

So his "open debate" is in fact a closed shop apparently limited to the
deeply-flawed notion of "decriminalization." That's where possession would
be removed from the Criminal Code, but those wishing to smoke pot would
still have to buy it from an illegal source.

Far from "decriminalizing," such a plan would leave production and sales in
the lawless back alley. Only legalization can reduce the crime problem, as
it did for alcohol when Prohibition was scrapped.

But no. "Of course" Cauchon smoked pot, but "it might inflict harm on
society." Go figure.

Health Minister McLellan then whirled out with her own variation of the
Flapdoodle. The issue of medical marijuana gives her "a certain degree of
discomfort," she confessed to the Canadian Medical Association.

Then she claimed "the courts took us down a path," a reference to the
Ontario Court of Appeal ordering Ottawa to rework laws that force medicinal
marijuana users to violate the Criminal Code.

"I hope this whole issue gets before the Supreme Court of Canada fairly
soon so we will have the opportunity to re-argue this case."

The Supreme Court? If she wants to go there, why didn't she appeal the
Ontario ruling when she was justice minister? And have the Liberals lost
the ability to make laws without court direction?

Clinical trials of the second Flin Flon crop -- the first had a seed mixup
- -- will begin by winter.

Until they're completed, if ever, you can get an exemption from McLellan's
ministry for medicinal pot. Just try to get some without breaking the law.