NOT READY, NOT YET

Halfway House Helps Addicts But Says Help From State Is Decreasing

CHAPEL HILL -- Bill Renn has seen utter joy cleanse the face of a drug user
who has been straight just 30 days. But the board member of Freedom House
Recovery Center worries about the future of Orange County's only
community-based detoxification program as state budget cuts siphon dollars
from social services. "Funding sources are all drying up," said Renn, who
is also program director for the UNC Alcohol and Substance Abuse Outpatient
Treatment Program. "Money is just very, very difficult, and the first to go
are always the substance abuse and mental health programs."

Those programs help people such as Cathy Wall.

She was 9 when she took her first drink. She tried crack at 26. At 30, the
Rockingham native is trying to regain control.

Twice during the past two years, the mother of four has checked into
Freedom House, several miles north of the downtown Chapel Hill bars and
nightclubs.

"It's a safe environment, especially when I'm coming in off the streets,"
Wall said recently. "I like the structure. I like how they get you
motivated. I need somebody to tell me when to go to bed."

Counselors and women who have endured similar experiences provide support
to help Freedom House residents. Relapse is all too common, and the
residents and staff know a celebratory good-bye at the end of a six-month
treatment term might all too soon be a teary-eyed return.

Wall's first visit to Freedom House was nearly two years ago -- not long
after she signed over custody of three of her four children to their
godparents. Her eldest son was with her mother, a recovering alcoholic who
has since died. "All I know is I wanted to get help, and I wanted to stop
using," she said. "I was tired of that low-life."

Freedom House, with an operating budget last year of $946,429, allocates
$110,110 for administrative costs and $829,873 for program services. That
money keeps 12 beds open in the women's center.

Wall took one of them.

She leaned on the other residents for support, cherished the art and
jewelry-making classes, started a 12-step recovery program and took part in
the support group meetings. She thought she was ready to make it in the
outside world.

But this past August, two days after picking up her two-year chip for
staying clean of drugs and alcohol, she relapsed. She lost her car and her
pride. Within three weeks, she was back at Freedom House, asking for
another chance.

"By having a little bit of the program in my life, I knew then there was a
better way," she said. "In this program, I see when people come in and get
their families back and building a home."

She is glad, she says, that her children are not in foster care. One day,
she dreams, everybody will be under one roof. Until then, she's happy to
talk with her youngsters on the phone and await a post-Christmas visit
during which they will open presents under the holiday tree.

"If it had not been for this house, if I had no concept of a halfway house,
I probably would have died," Wall said. "I would have gone back home and
started using, and probably ended up dying."