JEAN PAUL MARTIN CHRETIEN, PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA

There are disturbing signs that the Canadian state is being seriously unhinged.
The first batch of government-grown weed from Health Canada's very own pot farm
deep in the underground of Flin Flon is scoring very poor reviews. Health
Canada hemp makes those who have tried it throw up.

This is very sad. Health Canada can't manage a good stone. Shakes my confidence
in the order of things. Should have sublet the task to HRDC.

Here in Ontario, there's an election on, and the Tories have accused the
opposition leader of being "an evil, reptilian kitten-eater" from another
planet. If the Tories are on pot, and I think in kindness we must assume they
are, it's a couple of dozen grades above what Hemp Canada has on its shelves.

However, for the real proof that we've entered in to some bizarre world, it's
just necessary to turn to the federal Liberals - not the unraveling of the 1999
resolution on marriage, though that's a feast for the epicures of inconsistency
- - but the ever closer moment of the investiture of Paul Martin as the
juggernaut of choice in what a very few very foolish people still call the
Liberal leadership race.

We're very close to a constitutional anomaly that only a kitten from outer
space, reptilian or otherwise, fortified with the best pot Flin Flon has to
offer can possibly appreciate, to wit one government that can't be defeated
under the current rules being headed by two leaders, both of whom, depending on
how you twist common sense or parliamentary logic, can claim to be Prime
Minister, and Canada - poor battered state - is to have the luxury of both of
them under the current understanding for the next three months.

The honourable speaker recognizes honourable Jean Paul Martin Chretien, Prime
Minister of Canada. In our system, the person recognized as the leader of the
party holding a majority in the House of Commons is Prime Minister. That will
very soon be Paul Martin.

But Mr. Chretien is already sworn in and seems determined he must continue as
that office's only ornament until well into February. This might be an
attractive concept in some two-for-one sale down at Wal-Mart, but it's not the
way to run the country. Two prime ministers jumping up at question period is
probably one annoyance too far, not to mention all the wear and tear on poor
Stephen Harper's attention span, but this is the Liberals, remember, and when
it comes to the pure politics of this country and ensuring their hold on it,
these lads don't smoke pot, and they leave all the strange visions from outer
space to the other players. My guess is it's a game they're playing.

The P.M. - that would be Mr. Chretien - advises he will be staying on to hold
that whip until the last minute. The other P.M. - that would be Paul Martin -
goes along with it because, for now, it costs him nothing and it allows him to
duck a lot.

But come the coronation in November, I think they'll have all this tidied up.
Mr. Martin will enter into full office, and Mr. Chretien, well, he'll have time
on his hands, maybe a one-person royal commission on that lotus factory in Flin
Flon.

For The National, I'm Rex Murphy.